Holiday Journal - Day 2

Holiday Journal - Day 2 - 24/08/08

We woke up very late, which was enjoyable. I have yet to be disturbed by the seagulls. Wildlife plays quite a role in Sidmouth life. If it's not the noisy gulls or the crushable snails/slugs, it's the spiders.

As our room is separate from the main house, and is up the garden, we're susceptible to arachnid invaders. The main one lives in the door bolt-hole, and is surprisingly big. We've called him Usain Bolt-hole. We're too cowardly/caring to evict him, so we have to avoid him whenever we enter or leave the room.

In the early afternoon, we saw some of the Olympic closing ceremony. It was pretty good. Seeing Boris Johnson come out was a bit of a shock, though. I'm surprised he didn't make any racist comments or knock over the Olympic torch and set fire to Leona Lewis. A missed opportunity.

In the afternoon, we went up to have afternoon tea with my Granny and Great Aunt. It was the most English of affairs - a quaint cottage, freshly-made scones and cakes, little cake-forks, tea and awkward conversation.

In those situations, I feel that my powers are limited, because I can't fall back on my tactic of talking about ridiculous or obscene hypothetical situations. That's my only tool in social interactions. But when you're in polite and slightly aged company, it's difficult to ask what would happen if all world leaders and some wolves were locked in a branch of Ikea. I don't think my granny would really engage with that.

I think this will only be the beginning of the family socialising, which is a drawback to holidaying here. My extended family are lovely, but it's a bit difficult to truly relax when there's the possibility of a visit at any time. I still don't feel particularly relaxed. I may not manage it before we have to leave.

But still, I'm glad I don't have to wake up early. I think my ideal holiday would just be spending the whole time in bed. I could order pizzas and watch TV. Verticality is overrated. Almost everything fun can be done lying down. I bet very few injuries are caused when people are horizontal. I've seen the future. It's flat, safe and soft.