Playing Rounders in the Moral Minefield

At what point does a difference in opinion get so extreme that a friendship has to end?

I think most people accept that they'll disagree with their friends on certain issues. In fact, it would be really boring if you all felt the same way about things. There would be no more heated pub conversations about which is the best vegetable (I've had this conversation on several occasions). A healthy amount of debate is fun. We're all different. Opposites attract.

And yet, if a friend of mine was a holocaust denier, I don't think the relationship would have anywhere to go. That's a pretty big stumbling block. Even if we liked the same films, listened to the same music, and had the same sense of humour, the whole holocaust-denial would be a significant roadblock.

It might not be the subject of conversation. But even if we were talking about which is the best film in the Alien series, it would still be lurking in the background.

I don't expect to click on a moral and philosophical level with everyone I hang around with, but we can't be completely opposed. I'd struggle to spend an hour with George W Bush, even if we both really enjoyed playing Mario Kart.

But where do you draw the line? Do you subject everyone's beliefs to intense scrutiny before you invite them into your inner circle?

Morality is so flexible and intangible and subjective, that it makes the whole thing give me a headache.

The question always arises on Facebook (if I've written about this before, please forgive me). I have to de-friend someone if they join stupid groups. I've purged myself of most of the people I went to school with, which greatly reduced the level of idiocy I was exposed to.

But before the purge, I always had to judge their group choices. If someone joins the group 'polish out of england', that's a clear transgression (unless it's the group of the same name campaigning to ban Pledge. Fucking Pledge...)

As a side note, here is the Recent News from the anti-Polish group's page:

wat wankers they really r shaggin the fuk out of this country takin the 3 health care nd housein joinin the e.u is the worst thing this country eva did

Interesting news, I think you'll agree. Idiocy of that level is beyond comprehension. Literally. My brain can't cope with it. It's like the inconceivable forth dimension of human thought.

So, if a friend joins that group (as a couple of old school chums did!), they're gone. But what about people who join the group 'All paedophiles should be killed'.

Now unlike the anti-Polish group, the general sentiment isn't entirely in the wrong. They're anti-paedophile. I am also anti-paedophile. If someone asks me if I think paedophilia is a good or bad thing, I generally say 'bad'. Nine times out of ten.

But do I de-friend people who join that group? I don't agree with them. I think capital punishment is stupid. But is this one of those 'different strokes' differences of opinion, or a friendship breaker?

Luckily, any doubt about the issue is removed by the fact that the people joining these groups are also the most likely to fill up my Facebook News Feed with the most inane, illiterate and depressing content. It's a good tie-breaker. So I got rid of almost all the annoying people in one go. It was fun.

But it's not as easy in real life. If you meet people everyday, you can't just de-friend them. I wish you could, but you can't. Do I stop hanging around with people I disagree with?

I think the answer lies in their everyday behaviour. If they're generally friendly and not overtly hostile, they're probably ok to hang around with.

But if, when you're walking with them down the street, they spit on a homeless person, it's probably best to stop calling them.

If you know me, here's a quick guide on differences of opinion.

Not a Friendship-Breaker:

"I think the carrot is the best vegetable" (even though it's clearly the onion)
"I think Aliens is the best in the series" (even though it's clearly the first one)
"I think intervening in a sovereign state can be justified on humanitarian grounds"
"Dave Matthews Band are good"
"Sausage rolls are better hot"

Friendship-Breakers:

"polish out of england" (again, not including the Pledge thing - I hate Pledge so much)
"I'm a Creationist"
"The holocaust is a myth"
"I'm going to kill your whole family tomorrow"
"Westlife are my favourite band"

Borderline:

"Family Guy is better than The Simpsons"

Of course these are just guidelines. I take each case on a friend-by-friend basis.

The whole subjectivity of human opinion wouldn't be so tricky if I wasn't just right about everything all the time.

But I am. It's a curse really...