The World's Tallest Man

Thursday night:

"Excuse me. I'm sorry to bother you, but I just wanted to say hello. It's a real pleasure."

"Oh. Thanks."

"I suppose you get this all the time! I'd just like to shake your hand. The people at work aren't gonna believe it when I say I met you!"

"Oh. Um, are you sure you're not... you haven't confused me with someone? Because I'm not..."

"Ha! Good one! As if I wouldn't recognise that face anywhere! Would you mind if I took a picture?"

"Well, no. But I really think you might have me confused with someone else. I'm not famous or anything."

"So modest! It must be tough to stay so down to earth when you're a celebrity!"

"I'm not a celebrity! I'm really sorry, but you must be thinking of someone else!"

"What?"

"I'm... not famous."

"But... aren't you the world's tallest man?"

...

"No. No I'm not."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Are you sure you're not?"

"Yes. I'm sure."

"Shit. Sorry to have bothered you."

"But..."

"But what?"

"I mean, surely it was obvious that I'm not the world's tallest man."

"What do you mean?"

"Look, I don't want to be a dick about it, but I'm about 6'. maybe 6-1. I'm not short or anything, but I'm clearly not the world's tallest man."

"Alright, mate. It was an honest mistake."

"You must be aware that there are taller people in the world. I mean, that guy over there by the bar is much taller than me."

"I just thought... y'know. You remind me of him, that's all."

"But he's the world's tallest man. His height is his defining characteristic. That's the first thing you'd think of, surely."

"Look, I made a mistake! There's no need to go on about it!"


"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel bad. I'm sorry."


"Right."


"It's just..."


"Just what?"


"Just surprising, that's all. It's an odd mistake."


"Let's just drop it, ok?"


"Of course. Sorry."


"It's fine. Don't worry about it."


"It's just..."


"For God's sake..."


"It's just it's funny that you thought I was the world's tallest man..."


"Yeah?"


"...and you didn't seem to notice that I'm wearing an eight pound beard of bees."


...


"Oh. Yeah, you're right. I didn't notice."


"You see what I mean about it being strange?"


"Yeah, I suppose that is strange. I mean, the world's tallest man wouldn't need to wear a beard of bees, would he? What with being really tall. That would be enough."


"Um, I think I should go now."


"Oh. Right."


"Did you still want that picture?"


"Nah, not really."


"Fine."