I'm thinking of rearranging our living room.
I love the living room. It's full of cool stuff, like books and comics and paintings. I really believe that where you live has a big impact on your wellbeing. I like to think of it as psychogeography, but it's probably closer to feng shui. Either way, I love being surrounded by things that mean something to me.
But I also like to rearrange and reorganise. At least I used to.
When I was a teenager, hardly a week would go by without me rearranging my bedroom (the bed should go by the window, no, against that wall, no, in the wardrobe, or maybe crushed into a fine paste by a big machine, then smeared on toast, then put by the window). I'd also like to re-order my CD collection or my bookshelves. I'd make lists and everything.
No, I didn't have a girlfriend. Why do you ask?
I haven't reorganised for a while though. And our room needs sorting out. At the moment we have deep shelves, which are crammed with DVDs. They're three rows deep, so finding the right disc takes a lot of shifting and investigating and memory skills, a bit like a game in the Crystal Maze. Every now and then, you find some hidden gem that you've forgotten about (ooh, The Negotiator!). The rows and boxes inhale and exhale like the tides, so that the one film you're looking for is always the least accessible.
We also have too many DVDs for the shelves, so there are piles of them in random places. If we were to be wiped out by a Pompeii-style volcano, future generations would study these piles, and speculate about their purpose. It's the Stonehenge of DVDs.
We also have loads of books with no home. Most of them live under the bed, but it would be nice to put them on display. At the moment, we only have one proper bookcase, filled with the cream of the crop: lots of English literature, philosophy, Harry Potter, cookery books, and classic novels, some of which we've actually read. That's not including the row of graphic novels and trade paperbacks (mostly Marvel superheroes, but some randoms), which sits on the floor by the wall.
We really need some new shelves. Despite being furnished, the flat was distinctly lacking in shelf-space when we moved in. I suggested hiring some prostitutes, just to sit against the walls, holding books and DVDs and ornaments. The estate agent raised his right eyebrow, made excuses, and left.
I had to by all the prostitutes a taxi home in the end. I think one of them stole my copy of Kafka's The Castle, but I didn't begrudge him.
That's right: him! They were male prostitutes! Who's misogynistic now?! Consider your preconceptions challenged, my friend.
On the walls, we have Munch's Madonna (not the original - as far as I know), a Blake print, and various comicbook images (including the cover of Daredevil #181 signed by Frank Miller!), and a big mirror that allows us to see what excellent dancers we are.
It's a great room. But will be even better after certain things are sorted out. We have old newspapers under our coffee table. They're pretty old. I think one has an optimistic story about Neville Chamberlain's impending visit to meet with the German leader (Adolf someone). I think everything's going to be all right!
After the reorganising, we'll only need a few things to make it complete: aircrash-style oxygen masks hanging from the ceiling, deep shag carpet, tropical fishtank, coconut shy, and a massive, stuffed head of a moose, completely obscuring the window.
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