Oh, What a Tangled Web We Weave

Here is a pretty cool band:



I wonder if counter-culture in post-war Germany was more or less intense than in the rest of the world. Or the same.

***

I'd quite like to own an orchard.

I'd set up invisible web between the trees, and catch scrumpers.

Then I'd remove their blood (through some kind of pressurised hose mechanism) and use it as the base for a fine cider. It would have a complicated, woody flavour. Apples and blood; perhaps a touch of rose-petal. Then I'd sell it by the bottle.

I suppose you would call such a product Spider Cider (or Cpider).

I, on the other hand, am much more subtle. The brand name of my drink is:

Uncle Paul's Arachnid-Inspired Blood 'n' Apple Frothy Broth

I think it would be a success. I'm sure it would be.

People tend not to base their products on spiders nowadays. I suppose it's a bit old-fashioned in today's go-go world of Conchord, Mackintosh computers and the music of The Seahorses.

People think that invoking the name of the spider in your product is something of an arachnorachronism. But I think there's still room in this modern world for our eight-legged friends (unless they're some kind of freakish double-horse - which are not welcome).

I raise a glass to my spider-friends (a glass of Uncle Paul's Arachnid-Inspired Blood 'n' Apple Frothy Broth, of course), and drink a toast to each an every one of them. Except Spider-Man, who doesn't count, no matter how many letters he sends me.

***

I'm going to call my son Orchard. It can be shortened to Orch, Orchy, Ork or Orky.

Or Dork.

Thus ends the satire of the name 'Richard'. Coming soon, a satire on the name 'Helen', and a satire on twigs.