The Cowboy-Style Saloon Doors of Perception

I woke up in an inexplicably good mood today. It was quite clear from the moment I opened my eyes, and has lasted until now. I thought I'd better document it, in case I suddenly become surly and forget the whole thing.

More of my blog posts should be written whilst happy. There's no reason why optimism should be of less merit than cynicism. We watched a Josie Long DVD yesterday, and I was really impressed that such a positive show could be so funny. Most comedians start with things that really annoy them, rather than inspire them.

I've probably written far too many morose, whiny posts. The trouble is, you need to be really charming to get away with that kind of optimism. If you're not charming enough, it just comes across as annoying. So I'll try to have a general air of pleasantness about me, without any specific saccharine praise.

My good mood is all the more surprising given the recent road-blocks in uploading my latest stand-up video.

Everything was going fine - I'd put in titles and a musical montage, and was uploading it to Youtube, when I was told that I had infringed copyright with the music I'd used. Indeed, I had used a famous song, but only for about ten seconds, so I thought it would be ok. I'm quite impressed at the efficiency of Youtube's piracy detectors! So I'm going to have to remake it, perhaps with a different peace of music. I'm contemplating doing my own version of the song, but that might change the tone from "uplifting" to "embarrassing and pathetic".

The big problem is with my laptop. All of a sudden when I turned it on yesterday, it began making noises. Not the usual computer noises, but loud, rattling mechanical noises. It sounded like there was a metal wasp trapped in the machinery. That seems unlikely, but you can't be sure.

It's really loud! I'm worried that the computer might catch fire at any moment. I'm considering using it as an ad-hoc smoothie maker (force the fruit and juice between the keys and just wait for some tasty cyber-puree to spring forth). The machine is working ok, although it seems to freeze a bit often, so I'm not sure if I should get it fixed, or just buy some ear-plugs.

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I came up with two new variations on an old joke. In many ways it is a similar process to Shakespeare's adaption of classical myths and legends into his plays. I'm like a temporal facilitator, blending the genius of the ages.

Joke #1:

Q: When is Jim Morrison not Jim Morrison?
A: When he's ajar.

Joke #2:

Q: When is a Door Door Binks not a Door Door Binks?
A: When it's a Jar Jar Binks.

I was a little bit too please with these jokes, but never mind. I might try and come up with some more, so that I can release a range of highly specified Christmas crackers.

(By the way, if you don't know the original joke upon which those were based, I'm afraid there's nothing I can do for you)