Mr Birthday

[EDIT - Pics of Lucy's Birthday Brownies, and a handsome bearded fellow]

Me, December 13 2007:

To be honest, my age doesn't really bother me. But lack of achievement is.
[2008 Paul - Man, my grammar was used to been rubbish!]

I think the coming year will be a big one. I'll be sending off writing everywhere and trying to find some calling. In a year's time, if I'm still writing this blog, I'll be able to see how far I've come.

And I'll realise that I'm still an office temp with delusions of grandeur, and I'll pierce my temple with a stapler.

Well, I'm not an office temp any more! I have a permanent office job! So.

That shows you, you idiot of the past! What do you know? (By the way, place a bet on Sarah Palin being nominated as the Republican Vice-Presidential candidate - you'll make a million pounds).

I still have delusions of grandeur, but I think that's a pretty good quality to have. If you're going to have delusions, they might as well be grand. And if you actually have grandeur (without the delusions), you're probably a bit pompous and annoying. What kind of fool has grandeur? I'll tell you who: Terry Wogan.

A year on and not much has changed. But at least I've been doing something creative. I've written poetry and made a video. That's something. I'm also doing a job that I don't hate, with people I don't want to stab. That's also something.

Ricky Gervais was 40 by the time he made it big. I've got ages. In fact, I'm probably trying too hard, if anything. I might have all these blog entries pulped (e-pulped) and start smoking, just to give my inevitable success a little bit of suspense.

***

I had a very pleasant birthday. I ate lots of unhealthy food and watched a lot of DVDs. Here are my special birthday reviews:

The Incredible Hulk

This is the Ed Norton one. It was ok. The tone was poorly judged, the dialogue was awful, but there were good bits. I felt that the final act was a bit disappointing (and the Abomination looked stupid). Generally acceptable, but nothing spectacular.

My Rating: 3 out of 5 Gamma Thumbs Up.

Scott Walker: 30 Century Man

A very interesting documentary about the man. He's one cool mofo. Check out the bass on this track!



I have a feeling most people would be bored by the film, but if you're in the mood to hear various musicians gushing praise about an unhinged weirdo, this is for you.

My Rating: 8 meat-punches out of 10

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer

FUCKING. AWESOME.

Seriously, this was great. The first film was pretty awful (although the Fantastic Four themselves seemed to be well cast). But this was something else. I mentioned the Hulk's uneven tone. This film was judged perfectly. Light as a feather, funny, loyal to the source, cheesy, ridiculous. It was like a sitcom cast playing superheroes.

Also the casting of Dr Doom as that dude from Nip/Tuck (who I hated in the original film), was revealed to be a stroke of genius. It's a supervillain played with the same acting prowess and style as an American soap-opera sleazeball! Superb!

(The Human Torch putting sponsorship on the uniforms was a great touch too)

It just goes to show that you don't have to take the Dark Knight route of ponderous, brooding social commentary if you're making a superhero flick. You can just be utterly stupid.

A surprising gem.

My Rating: 18 Skrulls out of 20

***

All in all, I'm quite happy at the moment. I don't think there's any need to pierce my temple with a stapler. It would be difficult to do.

Of course, the question is, what will I be doing in a year's time?

Probably writing a defensive rebuttal to the 2008 Me explaining that although 2009 was the year I lost all my friends and became homeless, I'm still living a full life vicariously through the marionettes I've made from cigarette butts and rat-hair.

Well, 2009 Paul, I just want to say: you have my full, misplaced confidence. After all, this is a team game. I, 2007 Paul and 2006 Paul are all behind you.

(2005 Paul didn't want to join in. Twat.)