Wednesday 20 April 2011

Let Me In!

Hello

Welcome to the latest edition of 'Headscissors', a web-log which takes a hilarious sideways look at modern life. Covering topics ranging from current events to literature, detouring through hilarious comedy sketches and existential ramblings, 'Headscissors' is a counter-culture phenomenon.

The author's dry wit and flair for language really sets 'Headscissors' apart from the pack, and is a reminder that genuine talent, perhaps even genius, can be found on the fringes of popular media.

If this is your first visit: congratulations. You have hundreds of fascinating and funny entries to read. You can browse them in the 'Blog Archive' section to the right of this entry.

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Remember, this blog is also an arena for discussion. So please feel free to enter your feedback in the 'Comments' section below each post.

Now sit back, relax and enjoy!

Regards
Paul "DiamondBadger" Fung

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Hmm. That was strange. Hopefully that has repelled certain undesirables from reading below the three asterisks. Now it's just us: the cool kids.


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An Idiot Flaps Odyssey - Part 15

Books, books, books. Let's take a look(s, looks, looks).

Intro
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9
Part 10
Part 11
Part 12
Part 13
Part 14

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J.L. Mackie - The Miracle of Theism


I think this will be quite a serious entry, so might have to stick some knock-knock jokes in here somewhere.

YOU'RE ALL GOING TO HELL
No, you're not. Well, some of you might be. Though I imagine anyone with the good sense to read this blog has an unblemished moral character.

Also, I don't believe Hell exists. I am an atheist.

I've been struggling to describe the various stages of my religious feelings, but it has been slow going. So maybe I'll leave it for another time, when I'm ready to bore a large number of people. So this won't actually be serious.

Though that doesn't mean you don't get any knock-knock jokes!

Knock knock
Who's there?
Chuck
Chuck who?
Chuck Me My Shotgun, There Are Zombies Out Here
That's an interesting surname. What is it, Dutch?
No, seriously. There are zombies. They're getting closer.
If you're in serious trouble, why did you engage with the whole 'knock-knock' conceit to begin with?
[SOUNDS OF FLESH BEING EATEN]
Chuck? CHUCK?!

I'm finishing this entry on Good Friday, which makes me think I'm being irreverent. I assure you, the significance of the date is unrelated. But I need to get this finished.

This book was recommended reading on my Philosophy of Religion module at University. I was taught by a cool tutor who reminded me of Stephen Fry. It was my favourite subject.

This book outlines the various arguments people have put forward for the existence of God - ontological arguments, cosmological ones, arguments from design, etc - and goes through various interpretations and objections. Mackie comes down on the side of atheism, but isn't at all dismissive or patronising towards the theist.

Theists have to work really hard to support their arguments, engaging in all manner of linguistic gymnastics. Which makes it all very interesting.

I suppose it's not exactly easy, holiday reading, but it is very clearly explained and not as difficult as a lot of philosophy.

I should be disciplined and write about my own views, explain the arguments that interest me the most, and outline my conclusions.

But it's sunny outside.

I can be serious sometimes, but I need to be in the right frame of mind. And that frame is a long way away from where I am now. And the beginning of this post has been sitting in my 'Drafts' folder for a couple of days. I need to move on.

Knock knock
Who's there?
Locksmith.
Locksmith Who?
No, the locksmith. I'm the locksmith. Did you call for a locksmith?
Yes. Yes I did.
What seems to be the trouble?
I've been trapped in here for three weeks. The door won't open.
Right.
People keep coming to the door, but they won't help me. They think I'm making a joke.
Is that because you keep saying 'Locksmith Who?' and things like that?
Yeah, exactly.
Well, don't worry. I'll get this door open in no time.
Thank you, thank you.
That's OK.

I'm Kieran, by the way.
I'm Jorg.
Jorg Who?
Jorg Unnadie!
I'm sorry?
Jorg Unnadie. You're gonna die. I'm going to leave you here, because I'm also insulted by your jokey attitude.
Oh. I understand.
Sorry, Kieran. Nothing personal.

2 comments:

  1. Might you reflect - if not at punishing then at least at disproportionate length - on why you chose to pose topless in your photo with The Miracle of Theism?

    Were you perhaps of the view that existential matters are best contemplated in a state of nakedness, oneself in one's most basic, essential state?

    Was it just hot?

    Was it, and be HONEST here, a somewhat hostile act? Or alternatively an inviting one?

    ReplyDelete
  2. This happened to me before. At the time I didn't think anyone would notice, but they did. For this one, I thought "There's not much of me on display. I could easily have just been wearing a flesh-coloured T-shirt".

    So, in answer to your question: I was just wearing a flesh-coloured T-shirt.

    ReplyDelete