Bear Food

About five minutes ago, I just stopped.

It usually happens later. In the afternoon.

The afternoon is a reasonable time to stop. Lots of people do it. The afternoon is long, and comes after a long morning. Stopping is a natural reaction.

But today, I stopped at 10:09. That's too soon to stop.

I stopped clicking my mouse buttons (both left and right), I stopped using my eyes, I stopped thinking thoughts. My activity was at an end.

The day is long. I can't be inactive for a whole day. Not when I'm supposed to be alive and awake and earning my corn.

So I'm writing this in an attempt to jump-start myself. I don't know if it's working. I'm definitely typing, and occasionally clicking (mainly left), but I don't think I've stopped stopping thinking yet.

I had porridge for breakfast.

Whenever I have porridge, the first two spoonfuls are a revelation. "Why don't I eat this ALL THE TIME?" I wonder. It's hearty, it's warm, it's healthy, it's cheap. I'm going to eat nothing but porridge until I die of oats, I think (this time without quotation marks).

But by the third or fourth spoonful, the thrill has gone. The porridge isn't hearty, it's starchy. It isn't warm, it's tepid. It isn't healthy, it's cloying. It isn't cheap, it's... actually it is still cheap. But it's bland.

The porridge becomes an ordeal. I struggle to finish it.

"I'm never eating porridge again," I think to myself, with quotation marks again.

And I never do.