The Beat of Wings

I'm feeling a bit more upbeat today. I think it's partly because it's Friday, and partly because I've just had a big coffee.

It's also probably something to do with the mild hysteria that comes with the end of a long journey. I've nearly reached the summit of Mount Week, and the lack of oxygen is providing a rush. Mountaineering is an uphill struggle.

So the peak is in sight, and I feel on top of the world. Looking down on creation.

Man, The Carpenters were smug.

Birds don't want to be close to you! They're birds! If they do long to be close to you, it's probably because you've been feeding them crumbs.

Why do stars fall down from the sky? Well, 1) They don't, and 2) If they did, it would be due to some kind of astronomical phenomenon based on physical laws. The stars don't want to be close to you.

I want stars to be close to you, because it will kill you, you condescending bastards. I won't rest until at least one of The Carpenters is dead.

Yep, I'm upbeat.

You can be upbeat, downbeat and offbeat. I suppose being simultaneously upbeat and downbeat would be decidedly offbeat.

You can listen to breakbeat, big beat, and Eurobeat.

And you have time to do all of the above if you're a deadbeat.

Hmm... what was I talking about?

Oh yes: nothing.

It's lucky that I don't have a conversational thread to lose.

My thought processes can only be traced by leaving a breadcrumb trail. The trouble is, my psyche is filled with ravenous birds who inevitably eat the crumbs, and sometimes peck me until I bleed.

Just like you, they long to be close to me.

Perhaps the song (which is cumbersomely titled '(They Long to Be) Close to You') is a foretelling of some apocalyptic disaster. It's like Revelations. Some kind of bird-based god (perhaps Egyptian - Horus or Geb) will cause the universe to be destroyed. The Carpenters may be prophets!

Now that I think about it, Jesus was a carpenter.... Also, the unabridged title of the song is:

(They Long to Be) Close to You (For the time of Ragnarök is at hand. The instruction will come from your mighty beak, oh Holy Feathered Father. The end times approach. Your wingéd friends draw near for the final reckoning. La la-la-la laaaa)

I wonder why I never noticed that before...

Hmm, another piece of evidence: the song We've Only Just Begun seems to be some kind of creation myth. Perhaps the complete works of The Carpenters are an elaborate holy text.

Except for that Beatles cover. Better than the original, I think. It's a bit more creepy (downBeatles if you will):



Who would have thought I knew so much about The Carpenters?

Well, I think I've reached some kind of profound truth here (the 'not profound' kind).

I'm sorry for insulting The Carpenters. They're not condescending or smug. But as supreme prognosticators, they can't be beat!

Sorry. I should go now. I think I'll be able to find my way back. I'll just follow the carcasses of all those birds slain by poisoned breadcrumbs.