A Good Death

I've just added a new favourite quote to my Facebook page, from a Guardian interview with Stewart Lee:

How would you like to die?
Eaten by a wolf on British soil

It got me thinking about how I'd like to die.

It would be quite good to die in some spectacular noble suicide, like that guy in that Deep Space 9 episode that was on recently. [Spoilers in case your watching a 14-year old episode of a nerdy sci-fi show]

(Spoiler warnings don't really work retroactively, do they? It's a bit like that Itchy and Scratchy disclaimer after a violent episode: 'The preceding program contained scenes of extreme violence and should not have been viewed by young children.')

Or Randy Quaid (I think it was him, I'm not going to check) in Independence Day (Fuck you, that film was awesome!)

{I think I've over bracketed in the post thus far, and shall try to cut down on it}

But I'd like it to be something unique. I think my best death would be as follows:

At the tribute concert to the death of my wife, Lucy Stone - nobel prize winning writer, diplomat and creator of the highly successful official Harry Potter sequels - who passed away peacefully at age 109 and thus is not affected by my own demise, I am playing the best guitar solo ever in front of 200,000 screaming fans. I have this many fans due to being the most respected musician, philosopher, inventor and pro-wrestler ever, and because I helped usher in an era of world peace.

Anyway, I'm 110, and I have a really long white beard - so I look like a muscly Aristotle - and I'm playing this guitar solo with my futuristic guitar made of some new mineral that I found when exploring the moons of Jupiter, which has the properties of converting music into light and spreading psychic well-being telepathically into the crowd.

And at the apex of the solo, as the momentum has been built to a crescendo, I hit the high note (exploding the brain of a villian who was about to sabotage the whole thing for some reason), and I get struck by a spectacular fork of lightning.

Then I get eaten by a wolf.

Now, and bear with me, this may sound like arrogance, but...

...I think there's a decent chance of this happening.

So you might want to keep a record of this post in case you need to use a time machine and are out of Plutonium and need the exact time of a lightning strike.