Absolute Sour

When life hands you a lemon... mmm, lemons!

Lemons are pretty good; I don't know what the fuss is about. It's still a nice gesture. They smell good. You could use the juice to add flavour to a risotto or family friend.

It's not like life has handed you a turd. That would be much worse. Try making the best out of that! What's that? Turdade? I don't think so. That sounds like a charity concert to raise funds to free Piers Morgan's head from his arse. (I know Morgan is a conventional choice, but the word 'turd' only applies to specific people, I think).

Also, unless life also gave you some water, sugar, and some mixing equipment, your lemonade would be rank. It would essentially be a mixture of lemon-juice and any bodily fluid available. Probably be a few pips too.

I like lemons. I like life.

I'd prefer Sunkist.

***

As a follow-up to yesterday's foray into the world of news, this is the best thing I've seen for ages:

A Nepal festival honouring dogs

I had my own dog-honouring festival once. I say honouring, it was more molesting.

And it wasn't so much 'dog' as 'child'.

And it wasn't so much 'festival' as 'criminal investigation'.

Not really!! It was a joke!! Don't arrest me!!

Free Chris Langham!!

***

My discussion of moral questions will have to wait until next time. I think if I do one post of substance per month, it will keep this as a relevant and interesting critique of the world, rather than a failed clown wanking into the wind.

And we don't need that again.