Smoke

I've come up with a new expression for when you're asking people to keep an open mind.

You request that they "loosen the sphincter of credulity".

Pleasant, I think you'll agree. Why not try it, at a posh lunch with a judge, a priest, and a prude with a gun?

It's a beautiful winter afternoon outside. And inside, I suppose. But it's less beautiful in here due to all the objects and multiplug adapters, and the lack of pink clouds and birds.

The sun is beginning to set, and I can see a row of chimneys. The chimneys are all propped up by houses. Chimneys on their own would be a less pleasant sight - hovering like apostrophes, or suspended on wire - but as part of a house 'n' chimney package, they are very appealing. There's something very English about a row of terraced houses on a winter evening. It's cold with the prospect of warmth.

But whilst this innervating afternoon should have prompted me to take on a project of some kind, I have in fact been utterly inactive - even by my standards. Even that last full stop was an effort.

I can probably argue that I've earned a day of inactivity. I haven't, but I could probably argue it. Just because I'm good at arguing things (though terrible at arguments). If you're reasonably clever, you can justify all of your faults as being either for the greater good, or caused solely by outside forces. It's a dangerous thing. It means I don't have to take responsibility for the terrible things I do, or the much more numerous good things that I don't do.

However, I am aware that I'm doing that. Which makes everything OK.

At least, that's my argument.

***

Mood

I had a small tax rebate (rebate?), which has cheered me up considerably. Because it will make Christmas a bit less tight. And also because I'm shallow and materialistic and need a new coat.

Listening to

This is rather good, I'd say. I'm feeling quite self-conscious about my song choices. I feel pressure to have them say something about my character. I really don't want to choose things that will make me seem cool - because that would be a bald-faced, bare-faced, Paul-faced lie. Then again, I did choose the Freaky Friday theme last time, so maybe that risk is a small one.

Reading

The Idiot by Fyodor Dostoyevsky.

That's right! I've started reading a book! Mainly so I have something to write in this section. I know I could remove it, but I'm clearly an idiot. Much like the "idiot" in the above novel. AHAHAHA! Except I've only just started it, so can't make that comparison. I'll let you know how it goes.

Watching

We've been re-watching a lot of Seinfeld recently, and reached this episode last night.

A tremendous comedy scene, where nothing and everything is said. It also confirms what a fantastic comic actor Julia Louis-Dreyfus is. Watch her own every line of dialogue here - she gets laughs where there are none on the page.

It makes me look forward to Veep all-the-more. That's the new HBO political comedy series she's doing, written by Armando Iannucci  (which will apparently be a bit like The Thick of It). I can't wait.

Ploying

I've been perpetrating a number of ploys - mostly involving buoys, toys, Roys (Kinnear, and Bryan Roy who used to play for Nottingham Forrest), saveloys and white noise.

Ha! Gotcha! I haven't been perpetrating ANY of those ploys. I've only been doing one ploy. The 'false ploys' ploy. And you fell right into my trap.

I have gained a lot of self-respect after that, I can tell you.

Eating

We had a ginger and golden syrup pudding that Lucy got from Waddesdon Christmas Fair. It was nice - proper pudding-shaped. If Britain decided on a National Shape, it would be the shape of the pudding. I can guarantee it. Or perhaps the shape of the chimney.

Or a wilted cricket bat.

Drinking

Berry smoothie. I don't care what berries it has in it. I'm a broad berry church.

***

It's a bit darker now. I can only see chimney silhouettes, which aren't quite as good. The wind is whistling through our windows like our building is one big brick Popeye.

I'm going to go and....

Actually, "going" seems difficult. Maybe I'll just sit here for a few more hours. The sun will be coming up in a while, and might be able to get another glimpse of the chimneys.

I hope you have a pleasant evening, or morning, or afternoon, or night, or all of the above.