To the dogs

Let's get this straight.

It is not a dog-eat-dog world.

That is not the kind of world we live in.

Dogs don't eat dogs.

I've never seen it happen. It doesn't happen. Dogs don't eat dogs.

This expression comes from the "there's more than one way to skin a cat" school of proverbs. It's stupid. If you want to illustrate your point about ruthlessness and competition, there are thousands of better examples.

It's an insect-eat-insect world.

Correct.

It's a fish-eat-fish world.

Correct.

It is - on occasion - a monkey-eat-monkey world.

Correct.

It is not a dog-eat-dog world.

Dogs sometimes kill other dogs. But they don't eat them. That's the stupid thing. "It's a dog-kill-dog world" is a phrase that means exactly the same thing, but has the added bonus of being accurate.

If you're illustrating a point, why do it with a lie? It makes you sound untrustworthy.

And you are untrustworthy.

Dogs don't eat dogs.

It's not a dog-eat-dog world.

Dogs may sometimes eat an errant hot-dog. But that's not the same thing, is it?

A hot-dog? The same as a dog? A sausage in a bun - the same as Canis lupus familiaris? You need you're eyes checked. And whilst you're there, get them to check your brain and face.

And if the optician refuses to do so - claiming his optician training restricts his knowledge to the eyes and eye accessories - tell him that you confused a processed meat product with a domestic animal. He will try to help. He will pity you.

I pity you.

It's an I-pity-you world. Put that on your bumper-sticker, you son of a bitch.

***

I'm in a good mood today.