That's How I Roll

I can't believe how infrequent my posts have become. The problem is, I'm both tired after work and entirely lacking in interesting tales to report.

The only thing left would be to describe dreams or thoughts. As I've said before, people talking about their dreams is generally tedious (unless it reveals some serious psychological warping, or contains some explicit sexual content - and it's been a while since I dreamt about rimming Abraham Lincoln, honest).

I can't remember having any good thoughts, either. Usually I come up with good policies that I would put in place if ever I become Prime Minister, like random public holidays that would only be announced the night before, or fingernail recycling.

But nothing springs to mind at the moment.

Oh, Lucy and I had an interesting conversation about eye-rolling recently. I always roll my eyes the same way (left-to-right) and wondered if everyone did the same. But Lucy doesn't really roll her eyes, she just looks up. If she tries to roll them, she doesn't look indifferent enough, and just seems to be following the trajectory of some background projectile.

Of course we came to the conclusion that, being spheres, all movement of the eyes is technically rolling. It would be good if we could shift them from side to side. We could have three eyes, with only two showing at any one time, unless you got bored and carved out an extra socket.

We then tried to ascertain the rules of winking, but didn't get very far because when Lucy winks she moves in an unsettling fashion, like an animatronic pirate.

And that was our conversation over lunch. I suppose you had to be there. Of course if you had to be there, you must have actually been there. You should have said hello.

Maybe you were put off by our crazy eye movements.

***

I was reading an article about the most hated public figures today. Here it is.

(To be honest, I didn't read it all. I got bored. Hey, I'm a busy, busy man. Busy and with a short attention span.)

I don't want to get too stereotypically bloggish, but I started thinking about which famous people I hate. There aren't many. I'm generally quite a positive and tolerant person. Except when it comes to cunts.

But the first people that sprang to mind, in terms of most hated figures, are:

1) Alex Ferguson (top of the list, his death would be greeted with a smile)
2) Louis Walsh (I'd chuckle if Louis was in the same car as Fergie)
3) ---

Hmm, I can't think of anyone else. I love almost all the peoples of the world. Apart from Ferguson, Walsh, women, the Japanese, and the elderly.

And the deaf.

I'm a lot like Jesus.

We both have facial hair and enjoy bread.