How's That?

Quick Paul, write another blog entry.

I don't like the idea that someone might stumble across this page and see a post about superhero films. They's think it was just like any other blog and move on.

Of course, it is just like any other blog, but sometimes I make a reference to the Strategic Arms Limitation Treaty or Ibsen, and it gives the impression of depth in my writing. In reality, my work has no depths, but instead dribbles out in a wide puddle, giving sporadic width, and covering just enough ground to make people question whether or not I'm a simpleton.

I should stop swearing. Or at least reduce it. I know I've said that before, but I mean it this time.

That's not to say I'm opposed to swearing. I like it. There are certain sentiments, emotions, or jokes that positively require swearing to be effective. I get annoyed by people saying that people who swear have a small vocabulary. Nonsense (I could have said 'bollocks' there, but I restrained myself; I learn faster than a motherfuckershitfuckshit). Swear words are words. If I'm using them, and you refuse to use them, my vocabulary is larger. There are no words that I absolutely rule out. There are no words that I have blackballed.

The only word I can think of that I never say is "naff", because I've never heard anyone say it who isn't an idiot.

Swearing is useful, and can be quite poetic and beautiful.

But, I don't want to get over-reliant on it. For one, I don't want to find myself in a situation where I'm called upon to write something and can't complete a sentence without using the c-word, the f-word, or the k-word.

It will also give me chance to search for enjoyable synonyms. The only trouble is that without swearing, I don't have a grounding influence that stops my writing becoming too arch and dry. I don't like wit to be too dry. There needs to be a bit of moisture somewhere, even if has to be a few drops of profane ejaculate. That's why I find satire such as The Onion to get a bit wearing. After a while I get tired of Yes, Minister and want to change the channel to watch Rik Mayall getting hit in the testicles with a cricket bat.

Swearing is my cricket bat, but it will do me good to survive without it for a while.