Hindshortsighted

Those who fail to learn from history are doomed to look like complete idiots.

Or something like that. I briefly checked the proper quote, but lost interest. There was something about repetition in there. I've misused the expression before, but definitely won't make that mistake again.

I think all of human discourse could be improved by a greater knowledge of the past. History is a key discipline. And I say that knowing almost nothing about it. I don't even know in what year the French Revolution took place. I can only name two Queens, and one of those is from Star Wars (also misremembered).

But do as I say, not as I do. If you do do as I do, you'll just be repeating the mistakes of my past. Do as you do. As long as what you do is do what I say.

And what I say is this:

Every time you make a statement about politics or culture or some grand, overarching, sweeping statement that defines humanity, think about who has said similar things in the past. And think about what idiots they were.

All over the country, there are people repeating things that have been proven to be false. 

I'm not talking about the obvious ones, like "evolution is just a theory", "climate change is a myth" or "England have a good chance of winning the next World Cup".

I'm talking about things like: "this country is going to the dogs".

This country is going to the dogs.

Think about how many people have said that before. Think about how many newspaper columns have been written saying the same thing. Think about your idiot friends in the pub that have been saying the same thing for as long as you've been alive.

According to you, this country has been going to the dogs forever. This country was going to the dogs before there even were dogs. In a thousand years' time, your descendants will be similarly claiming that this country is going to the dogs whilst wearing a futuristic space-tunic.

Here's the truth: if you're right - if you've all been right - and the country is, has, and will be, going to the dogs, it would already be at the dogs.

It has arrived. This country is at the dogs. The country must smell like dogs. Your idiot grandfather thought the country was going to the dogs sixty years ago. It must be there by now.

No dogs are that far away.

If you read the tabloids, and are convinced that the country is going to wrack (or rack) and ruin (and dogs), think about the people who have said exactly the same thing before. Think about how long they've been saying it. Think about the fact that the same publications have been saying it for a hundred years.

There was no golden age when the dogs were distant and everyone was happy. Your stupid caveman ancestor was tutting and yearning for the golden age when you could leave your cave unlocked, whilst whittling some kind of dog-spear.

Think about the people that have said it before and how wrong they were. Think about how wrong people are going to think you are in fifty years' time.

And shut up.

Or kill yourself. Because if we're constantly, eternally, sliding towards the slavering jaws of disaster, you'd be better off in a hole.

No dogs can reach you there. Unless they can dig. And can dogs dig? Yes. Yes.

Dogs can dig.

But you're at rock bottom, which gets lower every year.

Here's another thing you might want to consider from a historical perspective: "modern pop music is rubbish".

Modern pop music is rubbish.

Think about how many people have said that before.

I mean, yes, I think modern pop music is rubbish. But that's because I'm old. It's not for me any more.

Do you remember middle-aged people in the 50s complaining that the new "rock and roll" music is too loud, too raw and obscene? Do you remember middle-aged people in the 60s complaining that the Beatles were "not proper music"?

Do you remember middle-aged people in the 70s complaining that punk rock was just a load of people with no talent who couldn't play their instruments? Do you remember middle-aged people in the 80s and 90s complaining that nothing could compare to the thrill of the punk movement?

Do you remember middle-aged people, now, complaining that today's artists can't hold a candle to the fantastic music of the 90s?

Do you remember everyone, in every era, cherry-picking the best of their era's music and pitting it against the worst of the current era's music?

Well, that's you that is. (Remember Newman and Baddiel? Brilliant. Not like today's rubbish modern comedy)

Do you think this is somehow different? That this era is suddenly the one where music actually did get bad? Isn't it weird that the music that came out when you were young turned out to be the last good music ever made. Lucky you. Lucky us.

Think about the people who have said similar things to you in the past. And remember that they were tools.

REMEMBER THE PAST.

PEOPLE WERE IDIOTS AND DIDN'T REALISE IT.

YOU ARE AN IDIOT. REALISE IT.

If you don't recognise your own idiocy now, people in the future will think our generation was a bunch of chumps. And they're right.

On the plus-side, they'll be chumps too, making the same mistakes, and patting their past selves on the back, when they should be punching us in the back with jagged metal gloves.

Learn from history, my friends. Use the wisdom gleaned from our predecessors' lack of wisdom, or this country will be going to the dogs.

As I always suspected.

***

Here's a bit of fun background to the above blog post:

I've always wanted to use colons poorly.

Also, I've written very similar things to this before, am unnecessarily angry, have chosen poor examples, arrogantly sound like I have all the answers, and have probably been quite predictable.

I should have been more explicitly political too - but you can extrapolate on your own time. Just remember to put down a tarp.

(I've probably said that before too)

I suppose I simply wanted to write something, so just powered through. My train of thought was going to stop for no-one, even if I ended up plummeting into a canyon.

Anger is an efficient fuel. It makes the internet go round: chasing, biting, swallowing, and defecating its own tail.

I blame Easter. And immigrants.