Thursday

Mood: Neutral.

(I don't know if I should keep the mood element of this. My mood doesn't really fluctuate enough to make it worthwhile. If I'm ecstatic or enraged, I hope I'll be able to convey it through the tone of my SHITTING BRILLIANT WRITING.)

I think I am in a particularly neutral mood right now, though. Which means any event could tip me into a partisan explosion.

If I drop my pencil, I might punch a colleague (I have one in mind). If I find a pencil, I might marry a colleague (I have two in mind). If I receive news that my application to be the new James Bond has been rejected, I might vow bloody vengeance on anyone with hair like a dandelion, just for the hell of it all.

My mood should really be: precarious.

I'm not very pleased with that dandelion thing I just wrote, and so have just tumbled into a black depression.

Listening to: The Collings and Herrin Podcast. I've been listening to it for so long I'm not even sure if it's good or bad. But I keep listening.

And Björk.



Reading: Your mind.

That's an unkind thing to think.

I'm just trying my best.

Watching: The dull Manchester derby. And some other stuff probably.

Oh I know - The Trip with Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon. I'm really enjoying it. It's understated, just like my own work.

[INSERT HILARIOUS EXAMPLE OF MY NON-UNDERSTATED WORK HERE. WHAT'S THAT - STATED? OVERSTATED? NOT SURE...]

Playing: with Windows 7 which has just been installed on my computer at work. I'm exploring its many facets. Well, about two facets (one of which I'll never use). I hope there are lots of exciting things I've yet to discover. Such as:

Microsoft Sexcel
Atomic Calculator
An option to flag emails as 'Regrets'
Ice-cream
Patience (the quality, not the card game)
A big rusty hook

(I lost my enthusiasm for that list with the first entry)

Eating: Nothing. I should probably get something to eat. But all the good stuff will be gone. And I'll be stuck with falafel and houmous like a chump.

Blogger has a problem with 'houmous'. That word is too flexible.

"Hummus"? You're having a laugh. Why don't I just start writing "fetus" and give up on spelling standards altogether?

I think fetus hummus would be disgusting.

Foetus houmous on the other hand sounds like a delicious treat.

Sorry, that was unpleasant. I regret having brought it up.

In fact you might say I falafel about it...

...

...

You're not better than me.

Drinking: Delicious water. Mmm! Creamy, thick, full of tasty pieces... maybe this isn't water. It was in a puddle on the way to work. Puddles are usually water, right?

***

That's me. That sums me up entirely.

I've got lots of other things to say, but I'd better stop writing in case I die of happiness.