All Over The Place

David Mitchell is something of a hero of mine.

I don't think I am (or could be) very much like him, but I respect him and wish I had his job. He seems to be totally sensible and reasonable, and despite doing lots of stuff, still has a very high success rate in terms of quality comedy.

In an interview with Time Out, he beautifully articulates a point that I've been thinking about and obsessing over for ages:

'One of the things that makes me angry is people thoughtlessly dismissing what is a broadly functional society. That sort of lazy internet cynicism is maddening – people with no historical sense of quite how miserable and inept most regimes in most periods of history have been, and here we are, with street lighting and the vote and sewers and all sorts of amazing things. In the overall scheme of things, we need to thank our lucky stars.’

Well said, sir.

I always want to write a long blog about that, but can never seem to manage it. Maybe I should plan it first.

I never planned essays or exams at school. Not out of any noble pursuit of spontaneous self-expression, but out of boredom. I didn't want to write about boring shit in the first place, let alone conduct a shit inventory, lay it all out in neat rows, and meticulously check my shit before diving in.

I'm not down with that shit.

(I've probably said 'shit' too much for one blog post. I'll try to avoid it from now on.)

So the topics I'd like to cover in this never-to-be-written blog post include the following:

- There's no place for optimism in the world (both the Left and the Right disdain it)

- Everyone thinks the period in which they're living is hugely significant

- People always think TV, music, art, are suddenly in decline, and that there was a golden age at some point (music was at its peak when you were 17, and nothing since has been any good)

- Stewart Lee (for all his genius) constantly espouses the above opinion

- The nerdish internet community is obsessed with privacy, government surveillance, conspiracy, 1984, but doesn't seem to care about people (a lot of their concerns are justified, but the attitude is repellent to me)

- the same left-leaning bloggers/commenters are political libertarians (a position I share), but have the same overwhelming self-interest of economic libertarians

- too many people (of all political hues) suffer from a lack of empathy (expressed through disgusting tabloids, hatred of criminals/outsiders, closed-mindedness)

- If you're Right-Wing, you have to be stupid and evil, but it can be in any ratio: you can be really stupid and not that evil, or really clever and exceedingly evil

- Having said that, I don't believe 'evil' exists, morality is ultimately subjective, and the world is essentially deterministic

And that is why it will never be written.

The trouble is, all my theories on the world bleed into other theories. My entire conception of life is all interlinked. If I pull on one thread, everything will unravel.

My conversations always go through the same process, through the same steps, and usually ends up with a discussion of evolution.

In short: I'm a pretentious idiot.

I'm interested in lots of stuff, but I'm not dedicated enough to turn it into something coherent.

So I get away with it by presenting it in short-form: rambling and self-deprecating, so I can have my lazy cake, and eat it (in a hammock).

It's like when I think of an offensive joke. Sometimes instead of just saying it, I'll soften the blow by starting: "I was going to say..."

As though I was showing restraint. But of course by even mentioning the joke, I show that I have none.

This has been quite ramshackle. For that I apologise. I'm sure my next entry will be exactly the kind of tightly-constructed, finely-tuned treatise that has made this blog such a rousing success.