Dracular

I performed at a Halloween Cabaret night on Saturday.

I'm not usually a big Halloween person. The idea of dressing up seems fun, but it usually requires going out and talking to people. I don't like either of those things. And if you stay in, you face the terrifying ordeal of trick-or-treaters.

Children are scary enough already. I don't want to open my front door to find four tiny witches demanding snacks. I have to turn all the lights off and pretend I'm not in. The whole night is spent huddled in the dark. It's like the Blitz. Scary, admittedly, but not too fun. So it was quite good to have plans that didn't involve too much socialising, or too much cowering in fear.

Costumes were obligatory. I wore a suit. Which is a kind of costume. I didn't want to wear anything too outlandish, because I thought it would take away from the integrity of my many sophisticated puns and jokes about potatoes. Lucy was dressed as a drowned sea-woman. We sprayed green strips in her hair, which was fun (although it did turn my snot bright green).

The venue was really nice. It was at the Vault and Gardens cafe in Radcliffe Square, attached to St Mary's church. I have some photos of us at the top of the tower somewhere. The church probably deserves its own blog post, so I'll save them for some other time...

Anyway, the cafe had been beautifully decorated with all manner of pumpkins, candles, spiderwebs and ghosts. I assume there were ghosts there. The whole room seemed to be full of invisible and intangible nothings.

There were some excellent costumes on display and it was sold out. The night as a whole was a lot of fun. It included readings from Dracula, belly-dancing, magic, some really good musical acts, and... me.

I was the only comedian on the bill, and I thought it might be tricky to get the crowd involved, but they were really good. It was a great example of how beneficial it is to play to different crowds. Their reactions were totally different to those I've had before.

They seemed quite easily shocked, for one. Jokes that I didn't even consider to be remotely controversial generated some 'oooh's, as though I'd voiced my support for the BNP.

Which I didn't.

Not then.

They also seemed to be really quick to see where I was going. My LSD bit, which I've done a few times, was the main example. They could totally predict the punchlines by the second joke, and I was a little unprepared for it. It still got a pretty good reaction, but it was surprising to suddenly view that bit as predictable. It was a good lesson. In the future, I'll have to judge the audience and alter my approach as necessary. And throw my own faeces if necessary.

I did quite a lot of improvising, which was a lot of fun. I commented on my lack of costume, and went in to a long bit in the style of a werewolf doing observational comedy, which collapsed into an existential cry for help. It was fun, and gave me a chance to bust out my acting chops.

I was really pleased with the set as a whole, and it has given me quite a few new ideas.

***

I don't like serious analysis of my own stand-up. It makes me seem really pretentious.

Maybe I can diffuse that impression with a crude joke:

Knock knock.

Who's there?

I've just wet myself.

....

Hello?

...

Hello?