Hard of Thinking

Why is it that whenever you have some twat playing music much too loudly in public, it's always shit?

You know the kind of genetic waste I'm talking about. The kind of people who drive in their suped-up (is that right? It can't be souped-up, can it?) shitty tin-can cars, speeding through quiet village towns, blaring music that's nothing but bass. They sound like they have a sentient amplifibian in their boot, hammering to get out.

That's right: amplifibian. It's a creature. That amplifies... sound or something. Oh, i don't know. My similies can't always be golden.

As golden as a...

oh, forget it.

The same slime that have their headphones on, but are listening to music so loud that you can hear it when wearing your headphones. I always keep mine at an acceptable level, by the way. Of course I do.

Anyway, they're always playing shitty house, or drum & bass that sounds like it was whipped up by a deranged robot with ADD and Parkinsons (there we go).

Just once, I'd like to walk onto the top of the bus, and hear someone's headphones blaring out some Bach or something. It would be refreshing.

Or the theme to Pigeon Street. Or the shipping forecast.

I think the reason these losers play there music so loud is because they have such shit taste in music. They don't understand it. They don't enjoy it. They just know that music is good (or perceived as good). So they can't choose quality or range of music in order to increase their consumption of it; they just increase the volume. It's as though they think by doubling the decibel-level they can achieve a union with the musical form that compensates for their deficiencies.

But in truth, it just makes them sound like idiots, who haven't moved beyond hitting pots and pans as hard as they can to get attention from their alcoholic, hairy-knuckled, abusive parents.

It's sad really. But quite pleasing if they were to drive into a ditch and smash their faces up, while the pounding bass drum provides a point of reference so they know that their heartbeat is slowing... slowing... slowing...