Ears Lowered - Check

In much the same way as I am too scared to complain about poor service in a restaurant, I could never complain when the barber shows me the back of my head in that mirror.

I think I purposely choose simple hair cuts for this very reason. Even if the reflection showed a polaroid of my mum, beaten and gagged, stapled to my neck, I'd probably just nod and smile; "that seems fine!"

To be honest, I'm not that fussed about the back of my head. The front of my head (or 'face') is more important in making a good impression. If someone's looking at the back of my head they've either offended me so much I've had to leave, or are entering me from behind. In either case, they've probably made up their mind about me.

Anyway, my hair is shorter, which has made my head transform from gallon to pint. I can only compensate by wearing increasingly elaborate hats.



***

I'm listening to some weird music on Radio 3. Ligeti's Lux Aeterna. It is kind of freaking me out, but then again I reckon anything sung by the Latvian Radio Chorus is gonna be a bit scary. They could sing Deep Blue Something's Breakfast at Tiffany's and make me want to kill myself.

Actually, that song always made me want to kill myself.

***

Sadly, my indecision about my future continues and time keeps moving at the same rate. I've applied for a BBC Journalism Trainee Scheme, and even mentioned keeping this blog in my application. I'm sure all the Harry Potter talk and rape jokes will help my cause.

I think a move back to Oxford or London are on the cards, as living in Sidmouth becomes less tolerable as the leaves begin to fall and the ice-cream stalls close and the nubile young tourists are replaced by old women wrapped in shauls, shuffling along like characters in a Chekhov play.

Everything is just too still. And yet I'm getting older.

I feel like I'm in a parallel universe where everything is running at a different rate. Maybe when we finally get to London, I'll be old and shrivelled, and all of our contemporaries will be firm and fresh-faced and ask us where we've been. And I'll choke out an answer; only the answer will be in the form of a phlegmy, rasping death-rattle, and they'll turn back to their glass of Rioja and laugh rich, fruity laughs.

I should really stop listening to Ligeti.

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Oh, I know of something cheerful! The Go Faster Stripe website sells really good comedy DVDs from people who probably won't get mainstream releases (or will fail anyway).

I recently bought Stewart Lee's 90's Comedian (I've started italicising titles for some reason) and Simon Munnery's Hello (good name) and they are both very funny. The DVDs are properly produced, look great, and even have extras. I highly recommend having a look. Next on my list is some Richard Herring.

Herring was at one of the gigs where I did stand-up, but I was too afraid to go and talk to him beforehand.

Here's a taste of some Stewart Lee:




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I'd better go and find a hat. I'm thinking... wait for it... a top hat with one of those propellors on top. I'd be King Hat.