Flying Blind

"Yeeeooow!"

That is the sound that a cat might make if it, he or she ate some too-hot soup. But probably not.

However, if a human actor was to play the part of that cat, it is the kind of noise it, he or she might make. If it, he or she hadn't done the proper research.

I need to write things like that. It may seem like a waste of time, but I need to do it. Because sometimes these things lead to something interesting. I might stumble onto a joke. Maybe even a piece of potential stand-up material. It might just lead to a good sentence, or an comedy scenario that could be exploited for future gain.

In this case, it didn't lead to anything.

I estimate that 80% of these blog posts don't yield anything of value beyond themselves. But that's fine. I'm happy with that.

If you're fishing for fish, you need to throw at least eight fishing rods into the river before one of them hits a fish. It's simple mathematics.

And in fact the 'cat eating too-hot soup' opening did in fact lead to something. It led to an analysis of my blog posts, which in turn led to that fishing rod thing.

The fishing rod thing could be the basis of my debut novel.

That's why I don't agree with people who say quality is better than quantity. Because quantity leads to quality.

Let me illustrate that with an example that, as I write this sentence, I haven't even come up with. The example could be anything, but I have faith in my ability to choose something appropriate.

Imagine, if you will, a biscuit. I don't know what kind of biscuit. Perhaps a chocolate digestive biscuit.

Those who prefer quality to quantity will say this:

(They will say it in a regional accent. The accent of a Portuguese region though, so to untrained ears, it will just seem like generic Portuguese. If you're Portuguese, it would clearly be a regional accent. The equivalent of a broad Cornish accent, for example. Or Berwickish. But to you - the non-Portuguese national - it will just seem like Portuguese. Or, if your ears aren't well trained at all, it might even seem Spanish. It's not Spanish. It's Portuguese. But it might seem Spanish.

So anyway, the person who prefers quality to quantity will say this, in a Portuguese accent {if it, her or she was Portuguese})

I would rather have a well-made, quality biscuit, made from fresh ingredients, put together with care and expertise, than a billion awful crumbly biscuits made of fir cones.

That's what they say, but him, it or shem would be wrong.

(At this point, I'm beginning to think my confidence in my example-marshalling abilities might have been misplaced. I'm not sure how I can argue my way out of this.)

Because that one biscuit, whilst good, will only ever be one good biscuit. It is its own end.

However, the billion awful biscuits have the potential to be more than that. Who's to say that a billion, or even just twenty, crumbly fir cone biscuits won't taste BETTER than a normal biscuit?

Perhaps the perfect chocolate digestive has not yet been made, and will not be made, until a master biscuitsmith wades through the dry, poisonous detritus of so-called "inferior" biscuits.

Who's to say that? Any of it?

The Portuguese?

What do they even know about biscuits?

So you see, the analogy has indeed turned out to be useful. Quantity is better than quality.

This - THIS: the analogy, the stuff about Spanish, the excessive bracket usage - is the billion biscuits of brilliance. It may be highly unpleasant, you may not be enjoying it now, but later, when you mull it over, you'll smack your lips and say to yourself:

"YES. THAT WASN'T TOO BAD."

Or, if you've really been paying attention:

"Sim, isso não foi tão ruim."

You, me, she, it or thim are learning that a horrific journey is sometimes needed if you want to arrive at a hotel with acceptable Wi-Fi.