YES

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't know. I don't feel like writing one of these, but it's been a few days and, like, you know, whatever or something.

If I hit the keys hard enough, I might get some sense of satisfaction.

I'm generally quite proud that my blog isn't angry all the time. I think there's enough anger on the internet. It's easy to be angry and write about the things you hate.

It's much harder to write NOTHING about STUFF THAT DOESN'T MATTER.

And to use block capitals to make up for the lack of any actual CONTENT.

So anyway. These keys are taking one hell of a pounding. But I won't let this become angry. No-one wants to read that.

I LOVE CHEESECAKE.

PEOPLE WANT TO READ ABOUT MY LOVE FOR CHEESECAKE.

And other stuff. Pff.

Yeah.

Well.

I hope you're enjoying reading this more than I am writing and reading it. I get DOUBLE-FUN.

Let's fill up some room with some entertaining pictures.

Look, a key:

See?

Life isn't so bad. Think of all the fingers that key has nestled between. Think of all the times it has been used to open a Jiffy bag.

Think about it.

We're all friends here.

Everything's going great. Just great.

I can't even remember what bitterness tastes like. It must be the opposite of all this SWEET, SWEET SUGAR.

How about another one? Look, it's Teddy Ruxpin:

Remember Teddy Ruxpin?

He was The Original Animated Storytelling Toy.

There weren't any before him. HE'S A PIONEER.

Applaud Teddy Ruxpin.

He's made it. He's a bear, and he's made it.

Make yourself a drink and sit down. We're all friends here.

I'm sorry, but what were you expecting? You can only have clicked on this because you were bored. So this is a treat, right? Better than being bored, right? It's certainly preferable to look at a picture of a key. It is. It is.

What about Callisto? Everyone likes that. It's a moon.

It looks nice.

You're better off with me, aren't you? Hmm... finished your drink so quickly?

You must have been thirsty.

Too many crackers, I'll wager.

You should have fewer crackers, and you'd need less water. It would save you money on your water bills. Or, if you're drinking drinking water from my tap (and drinking is what drinking water is for), it would save ME money on MY water bills.

So think about that next time you're wolfing down crackers like some deranged Shropshire waif.

These keys are hardy.

The keyboard keys I mean!

Not the key like in that picture!

I must have chosen that picture because I'd mentioned keys!

HAHA!

How embarrassing. I thought it was off-the-cuff.

I feel like quite the idiot.

Time to go?

I suppose so. We can't just sit here drinking expensive drinking water all day, can we? We have lives. All of us.

Just spend five seconds looking at this factory:

Now go.

Before I change my mind.