Friendsy

Good Wōden's Day to you.

I'm thinking about doing a thing. This is a specific thing - with a goal, a duration and its own website. But at the moment the thing I'm thinking of doing, actually seems like a thing I probably won't do.

It's called Script Frenzy.

The idea is to write a 100 page script in thirty days (those days being the recognised days of April).

It's similar to NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month), which Lucy did last year. These things are initiatives to get people to write. The emphasis is on quantity, rather than quality: it's a motivating tool to get procrastinators (like me) to actually produce something.

So you have a set goal, and there are lots of helpful tips and blog posts, and forums where you can discuss ideas. All in all, it's a great concept: a supportive atmosphere to encourage creative work.

But I don't know if I should do it.

I don't think I'd find it impossible to write that much, but I don't really have an idea.

And that's the key thing. I have lots of little ideas - some of them are tweet-worthy, or even sketch-worthy, but none of them are feature film worthy. (All of them are blog-worthy, but that's just because I've set the bar so low an ant could step over it)

I've begun scripts with no ideas before. I think it's quite easy to get to thirty pages by just making stuff up, but then you lose momentum. Then I end up just throwing stuff in there, like a sudden plague or talking cartoon mountain. It's not so much a deus ex machina as a weakus ex machina.

(Because 'deus' sounds like 'day', and there are so many of them it might constitute a 'week', and it's so bad that it's also... weak.

You know what it's like for something to be weak right? I can't think of an example right now, but there may be one in the past sentence or so.)

I need a full plot. And usually I only have about a third of a plot.

If I ever had a plot, I lost it. Or most of it.

I should have kept it all in the same Tupperware container, but my thinking was "If someone comes to steal my plot, you don't want it all in one place. So I'll divide my plot up: put one piece here in the lounge, one piece over there by the biscuit hutch etc." But I mislaid some of the plot fragments, so I only have a bit left.

I wouldn't want to fall into my old routine. 80% of the scripts I've ever written have been about an underachieving main character, his idiot friend, and an aloof love interest. I need to broaden my horizons.

Of course, Script Frenzy is about quantity rather than quality. So it might be worth just writing anything. But I'm always just writing anything. I've done 528 blog posts. Quantity rather than quality is the code I live my life by.

To gain something from it, I need to have a real idea, so my end product is of some merit.

Also, 'frenzy' isn't the most encouraging word. No-one is ever buoyed by the prospect of a frenzy. I don't know anyone who has been feeling under the weather, and then frenzied themselves into a state of bliss.

[I initially did a typo there: "a state of bloss". I'd like to be in a state of bloss. Bloss sounds like a liqueur that's also a fabric softener.]

Anyway: IDEAS.

What can sustain a whole film? Maybe I should look at what's successful and just copy it. Like that King's Speech film. I could do something similar. I wonder how the studio would feel if I re-released it exactly as it is, but superimposed Don King's face over Colin Firth's. I don't think they'd mind.

Or something autobiographical. You should write about what you know. Remember that time I bought a bow-tie? That's a first act right there. All I need to do is stick in an idiot best friend, an aloof love interest and a talking cartoon mountain.

We'd need to properly schedule the production though. The best talking cartoon mountain in the business is currently in the West End doing a production of The Importance of Being Everest.

I suppose I could always finish Mug World. I just re-read it and it's even better than I remember. I used to have real talent...

OK, I'm getting an outline together:

ACT 1: Our main character, Raúl, goes bow-tie shopping with his idiot best friend.

ACT 2: An aloof cartoon mountain sends him to Mug World.

ACT 3: A sudden plague causes problems, but Colin Firth turns up and solves everything.

Let's just add the odd deus and a montage of pigeons. My tweets can be superimposed over the whole film like disappointing subtitles.

I FEEL A FRENZY COMING ON!