Yet More Signs

I'm by no means a conspiracy theorist.

I think most people who see hidden plans and secret codes everywhere are little bit weird. Like children who refuse to grow up. It's difficult to accept that most things happen due to chance or genetics or stupidity. People want a comforting, all-encompassing explanation of how the world works. But it's not that simple.

But... but...

I think I've found something.

I may be wrong, but I think I've found something.

Something big.

As regular readers will know, I glean a lot of information from newspaper advertising boards. Well, walking home on Friday, I saw a couple that made me think there may be patterns after all.

All the pieces fit, two plus two makes four, all the chess pieces are falling into a round hole.

Not more than a couple of hundred yards away, there they were:


Clearly something's up.

I don't mean to cry conspiracy. I mean to cry conspiraBEE.

What is going on in the city of Oxford?

This kind of synchronicity doesn't come about by accident. There's clearly some kind of bee-based cabal lurking behind the scenes, stretching their waxy tendrils over the city.

Let's take the first headline:

BURGLER

CAUGHT IN

'HONEYTRAP'

HOUSE

This is clearly suspicious.

The first clue is in the unique spelling of 'burgler'. Surely this gives the game away. Any human newspaper would surely have spelled the word correctly. I think this is a clear sign that the bees have taken the media.
But have they also taken the police? On first glance, it would seem so. And yet, the Oxford Mail have used their helpful quotation marks. It isn't a honeytrap house. It's a 'honeytrap' house.

They obviously wanted to make it clear that it wasn't an actual honeytrap. They were worried their readers might be confused.

In any case, a literal honeytrap would be expensive and ineffective. Any right-minded burgler (or a right-minded burglar for that matter) wouldn't be seduced by honey. They prefer high-end electronics, money, jewelry etc. You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. You catch more burglers with laptops than with honey (or vinegar).

So it isn't a real honeytrap. But of course, if the bees run the media, that's what they WANT us to think!

I think the police ARE using honey. I think the bee conspiracy has reached the very top.

COLLEGE SWAPS

CITY SITE

FOR JAR

OF HONEY

That doesn't seem like a fair trade. Unless it was made under duress. Perhaps with a sting to the head.

The bees are clearly taking over.

At least, that's the buzz.

AHAHA! THE BUZZ! BEES BUZZ!!

I'm probably just being paranoid. But just in case, I'd avoid anyone dressed in yellow and black. Unless they're a wasp.

Wasps are trustworthy.

They are our friends.

ALL HAIL WASPS.