Also, he only died in 1864, so he's probably only my great-great-great-great grandfather or something.
The Taiping Rebellion was a revolt against the Qing government of China. Unfortunately it was motivated by some odd beliefs - Hong believed he was Jesus's brother. I've seen pictures of Hong. And he doesn't look that much like I imagine Jesus. He does look pretty cool in this statue, though:
Is there any family resemblance?
From the wiki article: "With an estimated death toll of between 20 and 30 million due to warfare and resulting starvation, this civil war ranks as the third bloodiest conflict in history, behind the two world wars."
Well done, pappy. When my family want shit done, they get shit DONE.
Despite this, and his evident insanity, Hong is viewed as a bit of a hero by some in China - a kind of Che Guevara figure. He rebelled against the old authority on behalf of the people, I suppose. Maybe for Communists, the enemy of my enemy is my friend (even if the former is a complete nutcase).
He established the Heavenly Kingdom of Taiping, killed loads of people, and eventually died of poisoning.
Apart from the genocide, I was wondering if there are any qualities of his crusade that I agree with, or any principles that I (as the fruit of his murderous loins) might have inherited.
I'll give a run-down of the Heavenly Kingdom's policies, and see which I support. Before starting, I'd just like to say that I think it's great for them to have 'policies'. It makes them sound like the local council. I imagine it's just the Wikipedia writer's turn of phrase. I can't imagine that term was actually used at the time.
"My village is burning, my entire family dead-! God help us all!"
"Right, let's leave that on the back-burner for the time being. I just want to tell you about our policies."
"No, not my children..! Why must you massacre us...?!"
"Now rubbish collection will become bi-weekly, but we will provide a green box for recycling."
So, here we go, the policies of my ancestor:
1) The subject of study for the examinations for officials (formerly civil service exams) changed from the Confucian classics to the Bible.
I'm not crazy about this one. Confucianism sounds alright. The Bible, especially taught by Jesus's son, sounds like a bit of an odd subject for official exams. I'd probably include some basic literacy and numeracy, maybe a section on word-processing and Excel. More useful. So, he's 0/1 to start.
2) Private property ownership was abolished and all land was held and distributed by the state.
Well, you can see why the Commies like him. I don't know if I'm favour of going this far. But my politics are left of centre, so why not? 1/2
3) A solar calendar replaced the lunar calendar.
I fucking hate the lunar calender. 2/3
4) Foot binding was banned.
Eeegh. Check the link. I think I'm opposed to foot-binding too. I might even stop wearing socks, just in case. 3/4
5) The society was declared classless and the sexes were declared equal. It was the first Chinese regime ever to admit women to examinations.
Well, there you go. He was like a proto-feminist. And a proto-Martin Luther King. What a guy! I knew we weren't so different. Heroism is hereditary, after all! 4/5
6) The sexes were rigorously separated; there were separate army units consisting of women only; until 1855, not even married couples were allowed to live together or have sexual relations.
Huh.
Yeah, that's... that's something. Probably had peoples'... best interests... um, yeah. Well, it was the olden days. Everyone's allowed one or two mistakes. 4/6
7) The Qing-dictated queue hairstyle was abandoned in favor of wearing the hair long.
Yeah, I can dig that. Long hair's cool. Free, like the wind. 5/7
8) Other new laws were promulgated including the prohibition of opium, gambling, tobacco, alcohol, polygamy (including concubinage), slavery, and prostitution. These all carried draconian penalties.
Hmm. Polygamy and concubinage I'm against. I've always said that. If there's one thing people always say about me, it's "that Paul - he really hates polygamy." I also hate slavery, so that's pretty good.
On the other hand, prohibition of tobacco, alcohol, gambling and prostitution (yes, even that), strike me as counter-productive. It doesn't really work. I hope other drugs were allowed, because you'd need to be on something to follow Hong.
But, the outlawing of slavery is good enough to outweigh the other things. 6/8
So six out of the eight policies (that's three quarters for fraction fans) are ones I'd support. Maybe he is a good role model after all. I might run for public office with these as my campaign promises (foot binding is a big issue in the Westcountry).
Overall, I'm quite please to have an ancestor that's made a mark on the world, even if it's a big, charred, blood-stained mark. I don't think I'll follow his teachings, though.
Even though it would make Jesus my great-great-great-great uncle.
I've probably got other ancestors that counterbalance the insanity with boring workmanlike lives.
I hope in a couple of hundred years, one of my descendants will write a blog post (in 3D probably, with a robot butler, eating his lunch in pill-form) about me. He can look it up on the future version of Wikipedia (which will be just as unreliable).
He'll be all impressed.
"Wow! My great-great-great-grandfather was amazing! He solved all the world's problems, cured all disease, and was the greatest guitar-player ever!
If only he could have averted the resurgence of foot binding.
It really hurts."
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