POST #100!
Bring out the party poppers (and the other kind of poppers - it's that sort of party), crack open the champagne, invite some people you know to a place and do some things.
100 posts doesn't actually seem like that much, but I should mark the occasion.
In my first post I mentioned child pornography, and I continued writing in the same vein. Over the last 100 posts, I've covered such topics as religion, evolution, being depressed, religion again, child pornography again, rape, child rape pornography, religious pornography, and the weather. Not really! I don't think I mentioned child pornography once (until this post, where I've mentioned it five times - child pornography, I mean. Six times).
My life hasn't really changed in that time, despite moving to a new city. On looking back, there are some embarrassingly bad entries, and some genuinely funny ones. I don't seem to be getting better, though. I only hope I can last another 100 entries, and try to maintain the same level of mediocrity.
As a celebration (or as penance), this will be a special anniversary post. I can't think of anything special to do, though, so it'll probably just be like all the other ones, only a bit longer.
***
I was in a job interview today, and I was asked what three words people would use to describe me.
I chose stupid words.
"Friendly", "Consistent" and "Reliable".
These are obviously shit. For one, 'consistent', and 'reliable' basically mean the same thing. Secondly, it marks me out as utterly banal and mediocre.
Lucy thinks I should have used "GSOH". But, as I remarked to her, they didn't ask me to sum myself up in three acronyms. Otherwise I could have used "LMAO" or "MILF".
In retrospect, I should have said:
"Effervescent"
"Byzantine"
and
"Throbbing"
Welcome aboard, Mr Fung.
***
As a I was chastised below for being frugal with my Wrestlemania opinions, here's a quick run-down:
The arena was quite the spectacle, but I felt the outside setting didn't really help the crowd volume.
As for the matches:
JBL vs Finlay
A bit disappointing. I was hoping for a few more nasty punches and a bit of blood. Maybe there's more to follow in this feud. **1/2
Money In The Bank Ladder Match
Lots of goodness here, and some spots I hadn't seen before. Shelton Benjamin nearly died, Matt Hardy returned, and CM Punk won. No complaints! ***1/2
Batista vs Umaga
Another disappointing match. I wanted more cool power shit. *1/4
Chavo Guerrero vs Kane
It was nine seconds long.
Ric Flair vs Shawn Michaels
Better than I expected, very good, lots of drama. Both guys looked good - a suitable last match. Also, Michaels nearly died here:
---The video of his near death has since been taken down due to copyright bollocks. So, instead, here's a really funny dubbed Richard & Judy video by Adam Buxton. Enjoy!
---
Very emotional ending, with the standing ovation. I almost cried (but then realised I'M A MAN. I'm... *sob*... a man). ****1/4
Divas Match
It was alright, Santino is the funniest person in wrestling right now. And he got clotheslined by Snoop Dogg. *3/4
Triple H vs John Cena vs Randy Orton
Very good match, maybe slightly below expectations. I was suprised by how strongly they put over Orton. A good ending too. ****
Big Show vs Floyd 'Money' Mayweather (AKA that little guy)
100 times better than I expected. Loads of cool bits, a good ending, and highly satisfying. ****1/4
Undertaker vs Edge
Started slow, but built well. A very fun match, even if the ending was a bit predictable. ***3/4
All in all, a good 'Mania. Probably the best since WMXX. I'd recommend checking it out - and also Ric Flair's retirement speech on Raw the next night. Even though, if you don't watch wrestling it will probably be meaningless - just lots of balding men crying.
***
We watched the first episode of Dan Cruickshanks's Adventures in Architecture tonight (BBC2 9pm). We've liked the old 'Shanks (as he's called at our house) since Around the World in 80 Treasures was on a few years ago. He's one of those amiable British enthusiasts in the Michael Palin mould; all hats and speech impediments.
His enthusiasm is infectuous, and it was particularly fun to see him comment on an Indian temple decorated with depictions of various sex acts.
The most interesting part of the programme was when he visited Albi Cathedral in France. It survives as a testament to the evil legacy of the Catholic church.The building is immense, and it's dominating presence is a physical embodiment of the oppression of the organisation.
The building itself is part ancient castle, part dystopian monolith. The columns made me think of it as something industrial. And that's what it was really - an engine for the eradication of heretics (in this case the Cathars).
Inside, there are disgustingly vivid depictions of the torment of Hell. Loads of them. The paradise part of the afterlife isn't represented. I think Heaven is kind of an inconvenience for Catholics - it distracts from the purity and ornateness of guilt and sin and eternal fire.
Lucy and I were thiking how strange it is that people still worship and swear allegiance to an organisation that has committed so much evil. The Catholic church is responsible for such genocide, and has tried so hard to repress knowledge, that you'd think it would be unthinkable for any modern person to adhere to its teachings.
It's like people in the future continuing to be Nazis, despite the Holocaust.
It's not even as though the Catholic Church accepts its guilt and is trying to make a new start. It's still all about pain and suffering. I bet they'd sort out another crusade if they had the balls. Maybe we can send all the fanatical Catholics and all the fanatical Muslims to the moon, or an island somewhere, and let them wipe each other out.
That's not a very original thought, I know. It's just annoying that we have to suffer through all the bullshit. If I was God, I'd be pissed off. It is surely the ulimate proof of his non-existence that he hasn't yet come down from his cloud and broken up the fighting in Gaza, holding both sides at arm's length, saying "alright lads, leave it. It's not worth it".
***
I just had a look to see what my 50th post was about. I didn't seem to notice the milestone. I just talked about killing Evel Nievel.
I should have done something special then. In superhero comics, they always try and milk every milestone or everything it's worth, with fancy foil covers and holograms and double-sized landmark issues.
The historic 428th issue of She-Hulk! 428 issues in the making!
Collectors' Edition: 13 Year Anniversary of Aquaman's Concussion!
It's lucky I'm not that ostentatious.
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