I hope you're wearing your retrospectacles, because things are about to get looked back on. Nostalgia, comin' at ya. Light the prior-fire, because what once was old will be covered anew.
That's all 100% true, because it's time for:
DiamondBadger's Headscissors Review of 2014
Here are previous entries:
2013
I like to summarise things in categories, particularly at this time of year. I haven't written a blog post for ages, though, and I'm struggling to string sentences together. I've forgotten how to think, how to be engaging, and how to think I'm engaging.
Still, with sections this clearly demarcated, only a fool could stumble. And am I a stumbling fool? My grazed knees tell the story.
I hope you had a lovely Christmas. It's over now, so take those chipolatas out of your hair. You look ridiculous.
I like to summarise things in categories, particularly at this time of year. I haven't written a blog post for ages, though, and I'm struggling to string sentences together. I've forgotten how to think, how to be engaging, and how to think I'm engaging.
Still, with sections this clearly demarcated, only a fool could stumble. And am I a stumbling fool? My grazed knees tell the story.
I hope you had a lovely Christmas. It's over now, so take those chipolatas out of your hair. You look ridiculous.
I can't remember anything interesting that happened this year. No holidays, no moving house, no new skills, no new facial hair.
In last year's version of this, I predicted that I'd put up the mirror we bought. We did put up the mirror, but it took several months and several armed robberies of B&Q.
I can see myself now.
Podcast of 2014 (category un-retired)
Podcasts have come back with a bang in this household. In fact, 2014 is the Chinese Year of the Podcast.
I, along with a large chunk of the western world, listened to Serial. I don't have any strong opinions on it, but I thought I should let you know. No strong opinions at all. I certainly didn't kill anybody, if that's what you're thinking. I like Koreans.
Ahaha, a joke about a real-life murder! It's a suitable topic for entertainment! It's an invasion of privacy! It's legitimate journalism! Justice! Respect! Awful people on Reddit! It's not about that! It is about that! Mail Chimp! Jokes about Mail Chimp! Joking about Mail Chimp is an invasion of privacy! Justice! Respect! That dead lawyer's voice! Due process! An acceptable ending! A disgrace! A revelation!
There. That's probably covered it.
My favourite podcast of the year is Comedy Bang Bang. I can't remember when we began listening to it, but we're now so involved in its world and its characters that I can't believe we ever didn't listen to it.
If you haven't listened to it, it's a comedy podcast that loosely takes the form of an interview. Various comedy stars are on there, and there are also people doing characters. It's almost all improvised. There are hundreds of episodes, so it's difficult to know where to start. Maybe a Best Of episode? Or this one. Or anything with Paul F Tompkins or Lauren Lapkus on it.
One of the funniest people on there is Andy Daly, who portrays a wide variety of characters from cowboy poets to German tourists to embodiments of pure evil. Daly is a ridiculously funny improviser. We may hear about him again later.
He was also featured in a spin-off podcast, featuring some of his characters: The Andy Daly Podcast Pilot Project. It makes me laugh. Try this one as a taster.
I've probably been listening to some other ones too.
TV Programme of 2014
I've been watching a fair bit of television this year, which in the old days would have been something to be ashamed of. Luckily the idiot box is idiot no longer, and is venerated as the highest culture available for consumption (above sculpture, asthma-ballet and every single book).
New Stuff
I am in love with the Zeitgeist, so I was forced to watch True Detective and Fargo (the two must always be compared to each other, and never assessed on their individual merits). I didn't love either of them. True Detective was more ambitious and had higher highs, but also had a fair chunk of stupidity. Fargo was much more consistent but never wowed me. I'll probably watch the second seasons of both, though.
Louis continued to be excellent and unlike anything else on television. Not so many laughs this year, but some compelling drama.
I watched a couple of new animated shows: Rick and Morty and Bojack Horseman. The former was co-created by Dan Harmon, and reminded me of Community in that is was wildly ambitious and imaginative, occasionally superb, but never quite forming a satisfying whole.
I still haven't finished Bojack Horseman yet, but have really been enjoying it. It started off as a pretty funny show with a standard set-up, but as the season goes on, it becomes more rich and emotional and densely serialised. A surprising joy.
Mad Men was also on. I can't remember anything that happened in it.
Oh yes. That nipple.
I don't think they should have split up the final season. I have a short attentio
Old Stuff
We watched the old 80s TV drama The Jewel In The Crown on DVD, and thoroughly enjoyed it. It's one of those classy old British dramas that are full of great character actors and big themes.
I finally got around to watching Twin Peaks on the lovely new Blu-ray box set, and it obsessed me for a month or so. It falls apart a bit in the second season, but the highs are pretty damn high, and it's a fun world in which to immerse oneself. Except when it's absolutely terrifying.
Another diamond I belatedly found waiting for me was Deadwood. I've written about it at length here. It's amazing, and automatically jumps into my top ten TV shows of all time. I haven't made that list, so that statement is probably meaningless.
But my television show of 2014, by a distance is... (trumpet purchase, trumpet lessons, fanfare)...
Review
It's Andy Daly! Remember him, from before?
In this comedy, he plays someone who reviews life experiences. It's a funny premise, and would have been great if it was just him reviewing funny stuff. But there's a strong story arc throughout the season, with lots of fun callbacks and lovely emotional bits. The final episode is one of my favourite single television episodes in some time. I haven't made that list (or even thought about it), so that statement is probably meaningless.
I don't know if it's available in the UK (it's not even out on DVD yet), so find it any way you can. And when it comes out, buy three copies.
Here's an example bit:
Shoe of 2014
I'm going to go with the snow shoe. I always thought snow shoes had to be tennis rackets, but I've taken a different tack and have used an umpire's chair. The snow would have to be pretty deep for it to be ineffective.
Film of 2014
New Stuff
Let's rattle through these. I've basically been left underwhelmed by every film I saw at the cinema this year. That probably comes down to my mindset, rather than the quality of the movies in question. I might just be difficult to please in a public venue.
I might be missing some, but I think the only films I saw in a cinema were Boyhood (impressive, but not as interesting or moving as I'd anticipated), Gone Girl (schlocky, dull, strangely cast), Guardians of the Galaxy (pretty fun, but no more so than the other dozen Marvel movies that have come out in the past five minutes), Captain America: The Winter Soldier (wimped out on its interesting potential, made Black Widow boring again).
I did see a couple of films on Blu-ray that came out in 2014. Under The Skin was great and creepy and just my cup of tea, with some really memorable bits. Only Lovers Left Alive was really fun and really funny, and only occasionally as irritating as its premise suggested.
Old Stuff
I saw The Conformist and McCabe and Mrs Miller for the first time this year, and wrote the words "TOP NOTCH" on the DVD cases (figuratively - one was on Netflix).
Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me (the original film and the Blu-ray 'Missing Pieces') was my favourite film experience of the year.
Moment of 2014
This might be a good time to mention my beloved Southampton Football Club. I've fretted about them at various points over the past year, particularly when we seemed to be selling everyone off, but this season has been fantastic. The manager is great, the players are great, the football, the league position, the Twitter feed - all wonderful. I've needed a lot of cheering up this year, and the Saints have managed it more often that not.
My moment of the year was being at St Mary's to watch us beat Sunderland 8(eight) - 0. If you have to spell the number, you know it was a special occasion.
Music of 2014
Not too many comments here, just some BANGIN' (good) TUNES (song choices).
Bilal - A Love Surreal (this is actually from 2013, but I got the album this year and it's one of my favourites)
Tiny Ruins - Me At The Museum, You In The Wintergardens (single)
clipping. - CLPPNG
The Twilight Sad - Nobody Wants To Be Here And Nobody Wants To Leave
D'Angelo and The Vanguard - Black Messiah
By doing this so late, I get to include D'Angelo's album on my end of year review! Take that, early December idiots!
The album is fantastic, and my number two record of the year.
My favourite album of the year is... (recalls trumpet skills, fanfare)...
Run The Jewels - Run The Jewels 2
This was number one on Pitchfork's 2014 list, which would normally put me off (I'm insecure and like to seem original). But this is so good, I can't choose anything else. I love Killer Mike, and I liked the first RTJ album, but this was a big leap forward from that one. I've listened to this many times, as loud as my ears will take.
Misunderstanding of 2014
Accidentally bought five hundred ovens for someone who wanted a single fridge.
New Habit of 2014
Heroin. I haven't actually taken any heroin, but I have been thinking about it. I might be addicted to thinking about it. My friends and family took part in an intervention, in which I was advised to "shit or get off the pot".
So I've stopped thinking about it.
Stuffed Animal of 2014
This is a soft crocodile. He was a birthday present from Lucy, and what a present he was! You can't argue with a crocodile.
His name is Snarlin' McFarlane.
Ordeal of 2014
2014
Stand-up of 2014
I haven't seen much stand-up, but I did do a couple of shows this year, One was terrifying and exhausting, And the other was the day before yesterday. It went pretty well. I actually did this material (the nature programme stuff) and, with a safety layer of irony, it went down a treat.
Number of 2014
1.1
Picture of a Vegetable Made in MS Paint of 2014
(Yes, I do this every year)
Odd Celebrity Crush of 2014
I think I fell in love with St Vincent. Her album has been riding high on many end-of-year lists, but I haven't heard it. I don't know any of her music. I don't even really know what she looks like.
But I loved the little "oh" noise she makes in response to a terrible joke at 0:17 of the below clip.
That's it. Just the little noise.
I'm into it.
Language of 2014
Esperantzen.
Tool of 2014
Niall-Gun
Annoyance of 2014
The fonts are all weird. All of them. Not just dingbats or whatever.
Disclaimer of 2014
All opinions are my own. Even yours. I bought them at auction.
Clothing Item of 2014
I bought a soft, dark red, long-sleeved t-shirt. It makes me look like someone from the past and future simultaneously.
Comic of 2014 (new category!)
Since I started buying comic books again, I've been meaning to add this section to my year-end review. But it's getting late and I just don't have the time for an in-depth analysis. What a shame. I'm sure I would have been very insightful.
Never mind, I'll expand it next time.
In 2014, I've really enjoyed the sci-fi series Saga, the always great Astro City, the hilarious Superior Foes of Spider-Man, and Archer & Armstrong, which is also hilarious, but I can't write that twice (can I?).
But my two favourite series are these:
Mark Waid and Chris Samnee's amazing Daredevil, which is sadly ending soon. It may be the greatest Daredevil run ever, and that's saying something.
The new Ms Marvel series by G Willow Wilson and Adrian Alphona got a lot of media interest ("A female Muslim hero?!") and there were concerns that it might be a publicity stunt. But it's been fantastic. I love Spider-Man-style teen hero stories (balancing heroism with the restraints of everyday life), and Alphona's artwork is brilliantly unique.
Catchphrase of 2014
We've started referring to hot dogs as "bun-longs". Is that a catchprhase?
Fact of 2014
Roald Dahl wrote the screenplay of Beverly Hills Cop II in my new RPF fan-fiction story.
Best Bit from My Review of 2014
I didn't mention ebola.
Prediction for 2015
Are they going to reboot Scarface? I bet they're going to reboot Scarface.
And it will destroy US diplomatic ties with Cuba. They've only just been re-tied, guys! Don't let this get in the way!
***
Well, that certainly started well.
Just like 2015 will!
Happy New Year, everyone!
Let's all join the same army.
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