NaNoClueDo

One of the things I did NOT want to include in my NaNoWriMo novel was:

• a character who is basically me, or any other Charlie Kaufman bullshit

I have managed to stay true to this principle so far. There isn't a character who writes an under-appreciated blog and loves sweet potato salad. There's nothing about comic books or wrestling. There isn't a character who, in that fictional world, is taking part in NaNoWriMo.

(I bet there are dozens of NaNoWriMo attempts that end up incorporating NaNoWriMo into the story. You're supposed to write about what you know, and for most of November, the participants know nothing else. There should be an option to select 'NaNoWriMo Ouroboros Meta-Novel' in the genre section.)

But whilst I am not on the page, but I have found myself inside the story.

I'm still making it up as I go along. I have no idea what's going to happen next. I keep setting up cliffhangers for myself that I have to resolve.

This is not a good way to write anything.

What has made it all the more difficult is that my story seems to have turned into a mystery. It's difficult to write mystery stories when you don't know what's going to happen. You're supposed to start at the end and work backwards.

Instead, I've started leaving lots of clues. But I don't know what the clues are leading towards. I don't know what the solution is, or even if there is one.

What this means is that I have to try to piece together the clues at the same time as my characters do. I'm trying to work out secret codes and odd connections that don't have a resolution. I have to be the detective of my own story, trying to make sense of random nonsense.

What are the odds that I'll reach a satisfying conclusion? Not great.

Then again, aren't all writers really detectives?

No. They're not. They're writers.

***

I'm writing as I write this. That may seem tautologous. I just mean that I'm writing this blog post and my "novel" simultaneously.

(I haven't been consistent with my sceptical framing of "novel". Just so you know, I'm aware that it's a loooonnnng way from being anything close to a novel. If I ever use the term, it's just for a lack of synonyms. It's either that, or "wordslick".)

I should probably go back to it. I can't be wasting precious words here. Just to keep you interested, here's the last thing I wrote for it:

 

“Think of it as Die Hard in a Balloon,” he said, spilling his drink.

I'm disappointed in myself. And when I'm a ghost, I'll be disappointed outside myself, but about myself.