Hot Right Now

It's hot. This kind of weather always reminds me of my childhood summers on Mercury.

There's a lot of pressure to make the most of the sunshine. I should be barbecuing a jet-ski or swimming through a pub garden. The trouble is that the heat makes anything beyond sitting in peas unendurable. It's a Scorch-22 (that's like a Catch-22, but related to heat).

So I've been making the least of the sunshine. I'm making the least of it right now, by writing this. I'm also making the least of my youth. And making a smaller molehill out of a molehill. I'll probably regret this when I'm older. But that's true of everything.

I can't afford to think too much (most of my brain energy will be diverted to the coolant systems), so here are some quick reviews of films I've seen recently.

Avengers Assemble

Excellent. Not the perfect film, maybe not even the perfect superhero film, but certainly the perfect Avengers film.

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (the original Swedish one)

Surprisingly dull. A sub-Lewis mystery. Nice scenery though.

A Man For All Seasons

Highly enjoyable. Paul Schofield kills it, and it's always good to see a young, weaselly John Hurt. Also, this speech:

Brief Encounter

A proper British film. Partly subversive, partly quaint, beautifully shot.

The Dirty Dozen

Too violent to be pleasant viewing. Not violent enough to be perversely entertaining.

***

The air is too thick to do this. Even spelling the word 'thick' proved to be a struggle (I initially went for "thich").

I'm going to go and lie down in a Scandinavian shadow.

But before I do, to make this worthwhile for both of us, I'll write three hilarious jokes about the weather. You'll laugh, I'll laugh, and I might get a job writing material for a pithy weatherman.

Joke 1:

Talk about hot! I just went outside to buy a bottle of water, and by the time I got home, my wife was dead!

Joke 2:

It's so hot out there, I've had to put suntan lotion on my suntan lotion!

Joke 3:

The government has banned jokes about the hosepipe ban. They feel the saliva needed to lubricate comedians' mouths is fluid that would be better used elsewhere. Like rinsing off David Cameron's disgusting butler.

A bit of satire at the end there.

Ugh. Sundays.

Can't live with 'em, can't die within 'em.