Train of Thought

I'm having second thoughts.

The first thoughts just weren't filling enough. I've cleaned my contemplate, but still have a hankering for more.

And now I'm having third thoughts. I'm having second thoughts about the original second thoughts. Or is that fourth thoughts? I just wrote a few sentences continuing the 'thoughts = food' metaphor. I used the expression "delectably intellectual". I mooted a "cheesecake in the shape of a question mark". But then I deleted it all. I decided it wasn't working. I was annoyed by the direction I was going in, so I stopped.

But then I started again, in the same direction, telling you about all the things I was going to write. I took you down the same pretentious rode with me, but this time from an ironic perspective. I watched my blogcar crash into the same ravine, but this time it was from a helicopter. Which makes it OK.

I had my question mark cheesecake and ate it too. I don't even know how thought works anymore. I'm lost. I've only done a few paragraphs and I'm already lost. That's why I'd be a rubbish navigator. I'd be sitting in the passenger seat pondering the nature of maps and directions, speculating about where the map was printed and what ink was made of. Then you'd ask me which exit to take and I'd panic and suggest you drive through the centre of the roundabout and tunnel into the Earth's crust. Then you'd switch your SatNav on, and I'd feel redundant. Especially because I'd have destroyed all of the sandwiches you'd asked me to buy because I saw the face of the devil in a Ploughman's.

I even got lost there. In the explanation of my lostness. It's no surprise. It happens all the time. Just go through my blog archive. All of it. It will prepare you for what's to come. More of the same. More of the same.

***

Sorry about that. I'll be more sensible now.

I'm going to write something coherent about a topic.

I can't think of a topic.

What about wind farms?

Wind farms

I like wind farms. They look nice. I don't even care if they don't produce any power. There should be one in every town. Two in every town that's only half as windy. We should demolish everything that doesn't have some kind of wind farm-related purpose.

What about education?

Education

All education should be conducted about, and on top of, wind farms. Children can learn all about how to breed and harvest wind, and would build up a resistance to dizziness (a boon for any young person seeking employment in the roundabout/kebab industry).

Wind farms can power all manner of educational technology, from electro-protractors to the air peg.

What about multiculturalism?

Multiculturalism

Any culture whose traditions are anti-wind farm or wind farm neutral will be considered "stagnant influences" and will be spun until they are, at the very least, 70% Dutch.

***

I'm reading that last section from my postmodern helicopter (or "helicopter?"), which ironically looks a bit like a windmill from above.

It's a disaster. I don't deny it. But I can't destroy all of that hard work. I used the word boon, and those kinds of opportunities don't come up every day.

I know I did a similar post last time and that I'm due for something proper. I'm working on it in my head. I need to find something that I'm passionate about. If I'm passionate about it, I can concentrate for the length of a whole entry. It will be like proper writing.

The trouble is, I don't want to come across as pompous, aggressive, or ill-informed. And I'm all of those things. I need to learn how to cloak my inadequacies under a shroud of refinement. That's the only way I'll be offered a Guardian column. I don't think they'd pay for the whole "second thoughts" thing.

Then again, maybe they will.

I'm an optimist. I always have been, and I always will be (until I die in of train cancer next year ironyLOL!).

But this kind of blog post is important. I've said it before and I'll say it again. This kind of blog post is important.

I watched a good video a while ago (linked to by Graham Linehan on Twitter) of John Cleese talking about creativity. It's quite long, but well worth watching:

In it, he talks about entering the 'open mode' and the 'closed mode'. I don't really remember any specifics, but at one point he talks about play as being important. That's what these blog posts are. They are play. They help get me into the open mode. Or something. I can't remember.

The point is that I'm a better, more creative, thinker because of that whole ramble about pegs and helicopters. This is a workout for my brain. I'm training for a thought marathon. I may never run it, but at least my brain legs will look good in lyrca.

I'm going to drink a big water now. It's Friday. We should all be laughing.

I'm laughing now. Are you?

I'm thinking now. Are you?

Yes.

Yes.

Let's all laugh and think and imagine that this has been worthwhile.