I should be working on my dissertation right now, and the fact that I'm writing this should tell you how well it's going. It's not even a proper dissertation. It's a sitcom! That's right, I'm writing a sitcom as an academic project. I might as well be handing in a book of doodles, or a plasticine cock.
I'd be more focussed if I could stop thinking about how tennis legend Jimmy Connors looks exactly like 80s child star Cory Feldman. That, and the fact that the new Enrique Iglesias song is the worst piece of art ever created by man. These are important issues.
If only I could find an appropriate arena to voice my world-view, beyond writing this blog and screaming through a megaphone at passing cub scouts. I could have my own TV show where I sit on a throne of bile and make wry comments about text messaging and inflation.
But according to Mr high-and-mighty BBC programming commissioner "there isn't really an audience for that kind of thing" and "if you don't put your trousers on and leave, I'm calling the police".
This country...
Yes, you're right, I couldn't think of anything to say today. But if you don't use your computer every day, the keyboard gets all gummed up with dust and tears.
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