The Yellow Tree

I told you it was yellow.

It hasn't been touched up - that's what it looked like, fresh out of the camera (phone).

When we saw it, Lucy said it was "the kind of yellow Van Gogh would have painted with".

She's right. It was an apposite and intelligent remark.

I'd forgotten that she said it until she reminded me, which shows just how oblivious I am, and just how pushy she is.

Apposite, Intelligent, Pushy.

That should be on Lucy's business card.

But pushy should be in bold.

Whenever people meet Lucy, the first word that comes to mind is "pushy". We know this to be the case, because she nagged so many people into filling out her survey.

She might object to me describing her like that. But, as the two of us are the only people who read this blog, it doesn't matter. If a tree is insulted in the woods ("crap trunk", for example) and there's no-one else to hear it, does it register as offensive?

That's for the squirrels to decide.

***

I've never been an avid anything.

How about this for a new character?

Avid David

He'd have to be French, so the rhyme would work. Or with an accent: Dávid. I don't know if that's correct, but I'll assume it is.

Avid Dávid

Also, he could be an aphid.

You'd have to pronounce it with the short a - ahphid - so the rhyme would work. Does anyone pronounce it like that? It needs more work. Or more accents.

OK. Forget that. Keep the proper pronunciation, and keep the French Dávid. We could have Avid Dávid, the Way-Fit Aphid.

That's quite nice. Do people say "way fit"? Young people must. I spoke to a young person once, and they spoke that like that. They didn't mention aphids.

But you probably don't want two adjectives in a single character name. Having the qualities of avidness and (way) fitness included in a proper name seems like overkill.

Generally, you only use one adjective. The Clint Eastwood character isn't Dirty Smelly Harry, is he? The lead singer of Blondie isn't Dirty Smelly Harry, is she? You see my point.

I might just stick with Avid Dávid. We can always drop in the aphid element later on.

I don't know where the character of Avid Dávid would find a home. He could be the title character of a television programme. If so, we can hold off on the aphid revelation until mid-season. The early episodes will focus on his avidness. That's the core of the show.

Or I could play him on stage. It will be a character act. He can be my Pauline Calf. I can do a pretty good French accent. False moustaches are cheap. Or I could use my own moustache.

It might be a little broad, but that's what people like in comedy these days. It's all Mrs Brown's Boys these days.

Who's to say I couldn't be the next Mrs Brown's Boys? I could be. The stage character would become a TV character! It's all come full circle!

Les Fils de Avid Dávid

Google Translate can be my co-writer!

It could be a big hit! You can do loads of jokes about baguettes. Seriously: loads.

I just need to find something for Dávid to be avid about. He can't just be avid about nothing in particular... Maybe I can make him an avid entomologist. That would pave the way for the whole aphid revelation.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: I have too many ideas.

They're ruining my life! LOL! ;_)))))) #thumbsup