Money for Invisible Rope

"If you don't have the answers, you're not asking the right questions."

I've been inspiring mimes since 2004.

I travel the length and breadth of the country, offering words of wisdom to the mime community. They are often branded as seminars, but I prefer to think of them as "get-to-know-you-mimes" sessions. There's nothing formal about them. I'm not there in a professional capacity (though I am paid handsomely); I'm just there as a catalyst.

I am an agent of change. But only for mimes.

I know what you're thinking. What can I - a non-mime - have to offer the mime community? What can I tell them that they don't already know?

Well, the life of a mime is not easy. It can be overwhelming. It's often lonely and thankless work. So sometimes they need an outside perspective to remind them of why they got into the business in the first place. If I can help even one mime realise his or her potential, I know that I've done my job.


We start off with some coffee and pastries and a short mingling opportunity. Many of the mimes already know each other, but, as they spend so much time on the road, it's nice for them to have the chance to catch up. There are also many new mimes who can use the time to introduce themselves to their colleagues, usually by gesturing towards their nametags.

After everyone has had a chat and a croissant, they sit down and listen to my presentation. I won't go into too much detail (I don't want to give away my secrets for free!), but I try to cover all aspects of the miming lifestyle, touching on business plans, time management, face painting techniques, and self-defence.

Just to give you a flavour of my PowerPoint presentation, one of the slides displays the slogan Marcel Marceaufar, Marcel Marceaugood, together with a picture of Marcel Marceau (the famous mime)!


Though I'm the only one on stage, I don't like to think of these sessions as just a one-way exercise. We're all part of one big conversation. Though the conversation is rather one-sided.

As a performer, I find mimes to be amongst the most supportive and cordial of audiences. There are no heckles and no unrelated chit-chat. Their phones are always on silent.

Sure, there is the occasional dismissive or belligerent hand gesture. The "shoot-myself-in-the-head" motion is the most popular one. But, by and large, the mimes are appreciative.

I don't mean to keep treating the mime community as though they're one big homogeneous mass. Each mime is an individual, with their own style, their own opinions, and their own personalities. The last thing I want to do is put them in a box. What would that accomplish?

Towards the end of the session, we engage in a role-playing exercise, which is the mime's bread and butter. A popular game is for one individual to play the part of bread, and the other to play the part of butter. It's hugely exciting to see the ways in which the mimes explore this dynamic.

After a (very) short question and answer section, we all say goodbye. The waves are wonderfully elaborate! I hope that remark doesn't come across as condescending. I genuinely love to see the reactions of the group. You should see their faces! All different paints and creeds. Old, young; male, female; black, white: all together as one (though these days black face paint is a grey area).

My heart swells as they open the door and leave, in an exaggerated fashion, battling against a strong wind.

I truly believe that these sessions have created a whole generation of happy, confident mimes. "Just because you're mute," I say, as part of my closing remarks, "doesn't mean you can't be outspoken!"

This line often leads to stifled laughter. If the mime in question fails to complete his or her stifle, and an audible noise comes out, I politely ask them to leave and never come back.

My agent keeps trying to talk me into modifying my talk to cater for the clown community, but I don't think I could handle the squeaks, the splats, the honks and the bonks.

"It would throw off my rhythm!" I say. But it falls on deaf ears, because my agent is genuinely deaf. A lovely guy, nonetheless.

If you want more details on my talks, please visit www.hilariousmimepun.com. It's a temporary URL until I come up with something good. Don't worry - I'll set up a redirect.