Further Bleeding

I'm not bored. I'm excited. There's loads going on.

***

That was a lie. All of those three things were lies. You could probably tell by my tone.

Let's write a screenplay. Read this first.

***

INT. COFFEE SHOP - DAY

A steamer steams, the steam obscures our view. When it clears, it reveals the image of BRISTOL NITRATE. He's gaunter than yesterday. He's wearing a wristwatch with no strap. He's shaking.

A beautiful BARISTA wearing an Alice Band slides into view.

BARISTA

Can I help?

BRISTOL

Do you sell?

BARISTA

I'm sorry?

BRISTOL

Do you sell?

BARISTA

Do we sell what?

BRISTOL straightens the tie in his pocket and clears his throat.

BRISTOL

Napkins?

BARISTA

They're over there.

She points to a pile of napkins in an area dedicated to napkins. 

BRISTOL

How much?

BARISTA

They're free.

BRISTOL's eyes widen so far that every branch of Caffè Nero in the Northern Hemisphere is forced to close down.

CUT TO:

EXT. THE PARK - 10ISH

The mouth of PELLICA DAVENPORT is full of food and laughter.

She's sitting on a park bench. In front of her, BRISTOL is wearing a cloak made of napkins.

PELLICA

You look like something the 

cat dragged in to a seminar 

on "Pathetic Findings".

BRISTOL

Where were you last night?

PELLICA

I was fraternising.

BRISTOL

With who?

PELLICA

Why, my brother of course! 

Your French is terrible.

BRISTOL

I have a headache.

He taps his temple and a fly emerges from his opposite ear.

PELLICA

Anyway, I'm glad you're here.
I have a proposition for you.

BRISTOL

Can I sit down?

PELLICA clicks her fingers. Nothing happens.

PELLICA

Your last three cheques have bounced.

BRISTOL

That's impossible.

PELLICA clicks her fingers again. This time a leather wingback chair plummets from the sky and crushes BRISTOL with a sickening crunch. He twitches and struggles to his feet as she continues talking.

PELLICA

Unless you've been living in 

a GOLDMINE, you'll have realised 

that we're in a recession. 

Obviously the government has 

decided to take away your funding.

BRISTOL

But why would they keep
sending the cheques?

PELLICA

Because they're CONSERVATIVES. 

They're petty and cruel.
Remember when they had your
father blacklisted and then
killed and then blacklisted 

in Heaven?

BRISTOL

Yeah...

PELLICA

The long and the short of it 

is this: you owe me money. 

I don't need money, but I'm owed it.

BRISTOL

Do you want me to sell another 

one of my organs? I've only got 

three left. And the upright piano.  

PELLICA

That won't be necessary. I have an 

errand that I want you to run.

She pats the bench next to her, and BRISTOL (bleeding slightly, napkins tattered) warily takes a seat next to her.

BRISTOL

What's the errand?

PELLICA

Tell me, my boy. (BEAT) 

What do you know about 

Abraham Lincoln?

She pours herself a scotch somehow.

BRISTOL stares into the middle distance. Then the far distance. Then three-quarter distance. (Mix it up a bit - actor's discretion).

A fly buzzes around his head. It starts to rain.

***

Well, great. Now I'm stuck in this font. If I knew more about HTML, this would be no problem.

This is me now, by the way. Your blog writer. DiamondBadger. Paul.

The script extract is over.

Pretty exciting, right?

What's going to happen next?

What's with the flies?

What's with Lincoln?

What's the errand?

What's the point?

This is a real page turner. Though I suppose that term is obsolete now. 

It's a real page scroller. That's what it is.

Have you given any thoughts to casting? I was thinking Pellica could be played by Morwenna Banks.

Bristol seems like one of those Ben Whishaw roles, but I think it would be better played by Leicester (and former Southampton) midfielder Matt Oakley.

I don't know if he can act. But with a script of this quality, it doesn't really matter.

Yes, that can be taken in a couple of ways.

Take it the other way.

I'm too productive. It's making me weak.