Do you think John Nettles ever wakes up at night, sweating, breathing hard, and his wife says to him "What's wrong?", and he pants, almost whispers: "Dock leaves!"
And then she rolls her eyes, and says "For fuck's sake, John. We've been through this. Just because your name is Nettles, doesn't mean you should be afraid of dock leaves".
And he just sits there rubbing his eyes.
"Dock leaves aren't even dangerous to nettles. They're just used to treat stings."
But he doesn't hear her. He just sits with his eyes held open, hoping, hoping, hoping he doesn't fall back asleep. Periodically he takes a sip from his glass of water and wonders.
And prays.
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