Thursday 3 April 2014

Smogs of Time

Five years ago today, I wrote a blog post about the "impending disaster" of Southampton Football Club. At the time, I wondered if the club would even continue to exist.

Just look at us now! We do exist (and how)!

Five years is a long time.

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Four years ago today, I wrote a blog post about a problem with our "washing machine". It was really quite good. I used to have talent.

It includes this sentence:

Time passes slowly when you're staring down the spinning barrel of a gun, especially if it's got pants in it.

Just look at us now! We live in a whole new flat, with a whole new washing machine! And the washing machine is pretty much the only thing about the new place that hasn't gone wrong!

Shoelaces? That was the past. The past was all shoelaces and standard definition television. How did we live like that?

Four years is a long time.

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One year ago today, I wrote a sketch about the inventor of the "world's softest barbecue".

One year isn't much, really.

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Zero years ago today, I wrote this. It was identical to the blog post I will write zero years hence.

It's one on top of the other. That's why the lettering is so thick.

The third of April.

Phew. That's better. I just set my blog text to temporal mono. It makes it easier to read.

There's something in the air, and it has irritated my eyes.

The news wasn't lying. Neither was the weather. Pollution is very real.

I walked into work this morning. I'd forgotten about the poisoned sky, so I thought nothing of it. Forty-five minutes exposed to the filthy elements.

I didn't feel too bad until I got into work and read an article suggesting that I did feel too bad. My eyes immediately began to water.

I don't know if it was psychosomatic, or if it was a sudden awareness of my genuinely sore sight organs.

Oh, also I hadn't blinked at any point prior to 10am. That might have been a contributing factor. I forget to blink sometimes, if I'm wrapped up in my thoughts.

I might get the bus home, just in case.

To help with the eye pain, I've set a blink reminder on my phone. It goes off every two seconds. I think my colleagues applaud my commitment to freshness.

I've also been looking at pictures of moisturiser online, which should help. They're on a web page specifically designed for relieving ocular irritation.

I cant find the URL at the moment, but it's a site for sore eyes.


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