A Leader in His Field

The following conversation takes place at a market, recreation area, or other public meeting place. Or in private.

***

Sam: My brother invented the world's softest barbecue.

Richard: Wow. Really? That's cool.

Sam: Yeah.

Richard: So... is it... I mean... what does that mean, exactly? Is it, like, the meat is really tender and soft, or what?

Sam: No. It's the barbecue itself that's soft. The softest in the world.

Richard: Oh. Wow. Not bad to have that on your CV! So, is it... uh... is there, like, a function that it... I mean, is it softer because, what, it's easier to transport? Or more... flexible in some way? Or easier to clean...?

Sam: No, it's just soft.

Richard: Right.

Sam: Softest in the world. 

Richard: Mmm. Your family must be very proud!

Sam: Yeah, we are. It's a nice thing to have, you know? That kind of success.

Richard: Absolutely. (*pause*) Just so I'm clear on it, is it the - forgive me; I don't know the technical term - is it the main... uh... sort-of... hull of the barbecue that's soft? The main... convex housing, I mean. Is that the part that's soft?

Sam: It's all of it.

Richard: All of it.

Sam: Yeah. The whole thing's soft.

Richard: Right. What's it made of, though?

Sam: Ha! That's the secret isn't it! Otherwise everyone would be making them.

Richard: Oh. But you know?

Sam: Of course. He's my brother. But I don't think he'd be comfortable with me telling you... I mean, no offence.

Richard: Oh no, of course not. Don't worry about it.

Sam: It's just that people might overhear. Talking about it in public would be like giving the trophy away.

Richard: Trophy?

Sam: Yeah. For the world's softest barbecue.

Richard: Oh! So there was a... whole ceremony and stuff?

Sam: Yeah. I went! Proper black tie thing. It was exciting.

Richard: I bet! So there were, presumably, other people in the running? Other nominees?

Sam: Of course.

Richard: And they'd all made... soft barbecues.

Sam: Yeah.

Richard: Just... not as soft.

Sam: Exactly. Only one winner! Just the one statuette, after all!

Richard: Wow. And your brother won? Pretty sweet.

Sam: (*long satisfied nod*)

Richard: Was the statuette soft?

Sam: No, of course not.

Richard: Sorry. Stupid question.

Sam: So, have you got any famous relatives?

(*pause*)

Richard: No, not really.