Sparkling Torso Quiz!

Our new broadband hub is arriving today. I'm reasonably sure it won't work.

Although I'm an optimist, I'm also a realist. Which sometimes entails altering my expectations to compensate for my innate optimism.

Some people may call this pessimism. I call it being even-handed.

One hand washes the other. They both wash my torso. My torso, in turn, washes my hands. One foot doesn't wash the other. Unless I'm wearing my sponge clogs. Which I rarely do in the shower. Are you following this? I hope you're taking notes. There will be some test questions at the end to make sure it has all sunk in (like water into clogs).

In conclusion: I'm a soapy optimist, with a sparkling torso and sponge clogs.

Right, recap time! Three multiple choice questions.

Question 1: When is our new broadband hub arriving?

A: Today
B: Tomorray
C: Sponge clogs

Question 2: What are my clogs made of?

A: Spunge
B: Today
C: Sponge clogs
D: Clogs?

Question 3: Born in December 1982, I am a human male living in the Northern Hemisphere. After a bright start, I lunged into mediocrity, writing a blog that mainly consists of disappointing rants and discussions of absorbent footwear. Who am I?

A: You (me)
B: Me (me)
C: You (him)
D: Sharon Carter (Agent 13)
E: All of the above
F: All of the below
G: Me

You can find the answers at the bottom of this post.

***

So... pff. Yeah. Man, how about that... news? The moon and all that. And, uh, Nobel Prize for... uh... Harry Connick Jr. And stuff.



***

Quiz Answers:

Q1: Four; Q2: Question 2; Q3: Me (you thinking of me).

See how you rank below:

Final Scores

3 - Well done. This is the maximum score possible from three questions. You have answered them all correctly. If you had got any wrong, your score would have been lower than 3.

2 - Good attempt. You are perceptive, but have a short attention span. Did you get distracted by a grey fox (if American: gray fox)?

1 - Poor. You are not a natural English-speaker. You did poorly at school. Your friends don't like you, but invite you to events to make themselves look better by comparison. But you're not beyond hope. One point is the same number of points as on a scalpel, used by many doctors.

0 - Zero. This is the lowest number of points. If you had been any worse, I would have had to take away points you had earned from other quizzes (eg Going for Gold with Poirot's brother)