Input

It's time for one of my patented reviews of popular culture in a feature I've decided to like to call:

Fung Is Entertainted

I've seen a few films and television programmes recently. Here's what I thought of them. I have a short attention span, so I will have to summarise my findings in only two, abbreviated, words.

Django Unchained

Prett Und'rwhelm.

Argo

Goo. Fu.

The Red Shoes

Spectac Vizh

Manhunter

Int'res BS

The Walking Dead

F'ing B'ring

Chinatown

Snip'd Noz

Before Sunset

Eth'n Hawk

That's the end of this edition of whatever it was I decided to call this. Join me next week to see what life is like.

***

I'm thirsty. Hang on a minute.

...

That's better.

I just glugged down some orange juice (straight from the carton). Then I realised that the washing machine had finished, so I hung up the clothes.

That may not seem very interesting, but it will explain why this post smells of detergent. This isn't just a visual thing for you. I want you to experience my writing with all of your senses.

Lick the screen.

Go on. Nobody will notice. It doesn't have to be a big, slobbery lick (though I'd be delighted if it was). It can be a small, tentative lick. Like a cat trying to assess a letter bomb. Go on.

What does this taste like? Like orange juice? No. It won't taste like that. But it will taste of something appropriate.

Shh.

SHH!

Don't say anything. I just want you to listen. There. Can you hear it? It's almost inaudible, but it's there. Computer screens make a slight noise, and that noise fluctuates depending on what is displayed. Not a lot of people are aware of it, but the actual composition of the pixels modifies that sound. Simply by having different images on the screen, I am playing a "tune" that can be picked up by sensitive ears.

LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.

There. Did you hear that?

What about this?

There. See? A whole different sound.

I'm playing this like an instrument. My blog doesn't just smell, taste and look interesting. It also sounds great.

It's also probably effective with whatever the other sense is. I can't remember what the fifth one is, and I'm too busy to look it up. I think it has something to do with gravity.

This is a sensory smorgasbord for you.

I'm a little bit concerned, because my spell check has identified an entire paragraph as a spelling error:

You see? It's all underlined in red. That can't all be incorrect, can it? It's not even a warning about grammar - it's definitely a spelling issue.

I right-clicked (or "wrote-click") on the error, and it has No Spelling Suggestions.

I've never been one to kowtow to spelling conventions, so I'm going to plough on. It's still a worry, though. I don't want my spell check to start judging me harshly. It's only through its indulging me that I've had the confidence to keep writing, even when I have nothing to say.

***

Panic over! I wrote "what it displayed" rather than "what is displayed". Once I corrected it, the red lines went away. It must have just been giving me a buffer zone. I might have missed a two-letter error line. Better safe than sorry.

I'm going to end this blog post now. I've got a lot to do today; particularly when it comes to the field of body scratching. I realise that this entry has been short on "substance" and "content", but I've never claimed to be a content provider. Or a substance provider.

The only thing I provide is happiness.

For others.