Smoke Without Fire

There's a new smoking area at work. It's on a veranda/balcony/parapet near our office.

I don't know what I think about this. Introducing a smoking area in 2014 seems quite retrograde. They might as well have a designated Sega Saturn lounge.

Before this, smokers would have to go out of the main entrance and smoke in the street. It's opposite a school. Maybe they thought young children would be transfixed by the glamour and mystique of wheezing in the rain.

So now the wheezers are elevated, and behind green plants. And due to their various lung complaints, if they happen to topple over the edge, they'll be dead before they hit the ground.

The whole idea seems like something someone suggested on a whim, and everyone was too polite to point out the numerous drawbacks. Is it a good idea to make smoking easier? I suppose the children are no longer in the firing/lighting line. That's the main thing.

I'm not 100% against it. I believe that every employer has a responsibility to support those who wish to kill themselves. Each desk now its own noose, which is a step in the right direction.

How about this? As a compromise, we'll keep the smoking balcony, but all non-smokers are allowed - even encouraged - to hose down the smokers at random intervals. That way, the smokers will think twice about pursuing their habit, and everyone else will have some entertainment.

Or something about smoked meats.

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Retrograde is my favourite soft drink. But only if it's made with fresh, organic retrogrs.

Proper joke, there. You can have that one.

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Remember the 90s? It was all Due South and LANs.

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Segmentation will save us.

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I have to post this now. I was hoping to do more, but there just isn't time. I'm going to have that as my epitaph. The retrograde joke, I mean. 

Then in brackets: FUCK SPIKE MILLIGAN.