*appropriateness of greeting may vary based on time of reading
I had thought that my busyness might be about to wane. I was incorrect. If anything, I feel even busier. My job has involved helping set up a new database system.
Yes, you're right to be impressed.
But transferring data is more complicated than it sounds. And more tedious.
It has infected me. I can't remove the technostench, even when I leave the office. All my dreams are now viewed through the framework of this new system. All of them. Disparate concepts are connected by unique alphanumeric reference keys and look-up fields and custom links. I need to log in to my own brain.
I think I've gone crazy. And not in an entertaining way, where I shout and wear colourful pantaloons. In a genuine way - where I just loose my grip on the world and everyone feels a bit sad.
I'm sure it is only for a short time. It must be. But my to-do list seems to spawn new tasks faster than you can say virulent rabbit mitosis. I'm worried that by the time it's over, I'll have forgotten how to love or, even worse, how to blog or tweet.
I'm trying to force myself to write these, so I can get back on the horse-wagon. So I apologise if I don't reach my previous standards.
"Paul, you could reach your usual standards if you were trapped in a mineshaft sans hands (and sans Hans, your German mining instructor)."
Who wrote that? I should stop leaving my computer unattended when I go to run a bath, the operation of which is a logistical minefield at the best of times.
This is my fourth post of September. My previous record for sparse blog posts was September 2007, where I only managed five posts. It looks like I wasn't too chipper then either. Maybe I have Septembral Affected Disorder.
But in September 2008 I managed sixteen posts, including a gem about ironing my scrotum.
And I managed 12 posts in September 2009, including a photo of Steve Stone.
I'm sure it will pass. I can weather this storm.
I'll probably come up with an interesting idea soon, and everything will be back on track.
Any minute now.
.
.
.
Hey! How about a new character? They're always fun! And wacky!
My new character is called Michael Hedges.
He works in a shop. It's a stationery shop. He's thirty.
Imagine all the adventures he can get up to!
You already have. Because he can't get up to any adventures. He doesn't even try.
***
Gold!
I should finish with a photo. I like doing that, because it shows up on my automatic Facebook blog update. It makes me look like I've done some research, when all I've done is Googled this sentence and then posted the fourth image result.
It appears to be Paula Abdul.
True story: in primary school I was singing her song Opposites Attract, and in the bit where she sings "two steps forward, and two steps back", I took two steps back and collided with my teacher.
It was embarrassing.
It was the video with the cartoon cat.
He exemplified the concept of the opposite, because Paula Abdul was neither a cat, nor animated, nor an animated cat.
Remember that?
Remember?
True story: the video for the Fall song Two Steps Back also involved a cartoon cat, which was asphyxiated by Mark E Smith before filming had even begun.
But I didn't know that at the time. I was in primary school.
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