I found a scrap of paper, wedged between two bench slats. It drew my attention because the paper was clean and starched-stiff, and sticking up like a proud feather.
I picked it up and read. In crisp, clear, hand-written text were written the words "PLEASE TURN OVER".
I turned it over, and read the other side. In crisp, clear, hand-written text were written the words "TURN OVER".
I didn't appreciate the lack of a please, so I thought "forget it" and tucked the paper back in the bench. All I want is a modicum of politeness.
Now I'll never know what was on the other side.
Good afternoon.
I've been re-reading old blog posts recently. Some of them are pretty good - even the ones I didn't like at the time. That means that in the future, I might enjoy re-reading this one.
Especially if the format is
INTERESTING.
No-one wants to re-read a wall of plain text.
I will now transcribe a conversation that took place during at least three separate Revolutionary Wars:
***
Head Revolutionary: Let's revolt.
Followers: We agree. On one condition.
Head Revolutionary: What's that?
Followers: When the existing system is overthrown, we should all get matching tattoos.
Head Revolutionary: *shrug* That's it? You don't even need my permission for that. That's totally up to you.
Followers: Yeah. No, we knew that. Of course.
Head Revolutionary: Oh, hang on. Did you want me to get one too?
Followers: Get one what?
Head Revolutionary: A tattoo.
Followers: Oh. No, we weren't thinking that.
Head Revolutionary: I will. I totally will. I'd be happy to get one.
Followers: No, it's OK.
Head Revolutionary: Right. So that was the only condition?
Followers: *conferring, whispering* Actually, no. We have a new condition. The tattoo one wasn't the real one. This is the real one.
Head Revolutionary: OK - shoot.
Followers: When the existing system is overthrown, we should all get Korean food.
Head Revolutionary: Korean food.
Followers: Yes. It’s non-negotiable. We won’t revolt unless we get Korean food.
Head Revolutionary: And that’s definitely your only condition?
Followers: *conferring, whispering* Yes. *conferring, whispering* Or a high-end pie.
Head Revolutionary: Fine. 100% agreed. Do you want me to pay?
Followers: No, we’ll all chip in.
Head Revolutionary: Great. So… revolution?
Followers: *cheering, fist-pumping* Revolution!!
But the revolution fails because the tattoos and the Korean octopus curry contain lethally incompatible inks.
***
I can’t wait to re-read that.
In my forties.
